Is That So Bad?
by miss.SunFlower
Summary: Varice Kingsford may not have been the most powerful when it came to Gifts, but she knew people. Perhaps that's why she saw it first. Varice throughout Emperor Mage.
1. Arram

Taking the side of everyone's least favorite blonde - but that doesn't mean it's a bad story, right!

The more I read Emperor Mage the more I actually like Varice. I honestly believe she loved/loves Numair. And useless as she may be, I'm convinced the woman isn't _stupid_.

I do hope you'll enjoy, and review.

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><p><strong>Is That So Bad?<strong>

Varice Kingsford did not know if she should be elated or terrified when she saw the entire Tortallan delegation for the first time.

Of course, the one thing she wasn't, once the initial onslaught of emotions faded, was surprised. She'd heard very vague rumors from the Northern lands about the powerful mage Numair Salmalin, a black robe from their own university and had been more than capable of putting two and two together. And he was hand of the king, as trusted as that Lioness woman.

But he was here. _Here_, by all the gods! The place he'd had to flee for his very life! The Emperor obviously had granted a pardon – he wasn't so scatter-brained as to return to a place where he was still publicly wanted – but why? And what for? Varice may not have been the most powerful when it came to mages and Gifts, but she knew people. And this was the most unlike Ozorne ruling she had ever witnessed or heard of. Like even those who were utterly devoted to the Emperor, Varice feared him. Having Arram back within his reach scared her even more.

But he was HERE, and even an instantaneous suspicion for his safety couldn't strangle her sense of joy, seeing Arram again. He looked as handsome as she recalled. Not quite the same, she realized, but just as handsome nonetheless. He looked older. Well, he _was_ older, clearly, as was she. He'd filled into his tall frame, looking less like an underfed bookworm and more like the powerful man he evidently was.

"_Arram._" She hadn't known what else to say. In fact, she was suddenly hit, as he looked up at her, dark eyes widening, he may not remember her. He had a life in Tortall, didn't he? Possibly a family… She tried not to think of that. She was just happy to see him.

"_Varice_?"

His voice was soft, almost like a loud whisper. Awed. Varice herself felt awed, having braced herself for him to not remember her at all. Pleasantly surprised, and feeling more delighted by the second, she laughed breathlessly.

"The same old Varice Kingsford," she responded, as he took her hands, "I'm surprised you remember me."

The smile he gave her brought back a vast collection of very good memories. He kissed both hands in turn and gave them both a squeeze, "How could I forget you, my dear?" He said. His voice was the perfect smooth tones of a man well trained in courtier's compliments. And although the compliments themselves were just as practiced and ready-made, his bright smile and the simple idea of having him before her brought her to more laughter as she guided him to sit without another thought.

Simple flirtations seemingly finished, Arram attacked her with questions. Varice couldn't keep her smile down – he truly hadn't changed. The young man she remembered courting her was just as curious about everything. He never mentioned the Emperor or his thoughts on the impending peace talks, and she wasn't about to bring it up. She suspected, even as he listened in fascination as she spoke of additions to the university, that he did not want to be in Carthak. With how his life here had ended, Varice supposed she could not blame him. She could only do her best to make him feel at ease.

She once again thought of what his life in Tortall might be like when a slave brought word that the girl Verilidaine and Arram's old teacher Lindhall Reed had gone to look at His Grace's birds. Arram relaxed his shoulders. Until that moment, she hadn't been able to tell he'd been tense.

"Verlidaine?" She asked, curiously. She hadn't seen the official ceremony of welcome for the delegates, and aside from Arram and The King's Champion, she had know further knowledge of who was along. She suspected further dignitaries, but a girl? Belatedly, she realized she had seen a girl with brown curly hair in the group Arram had been in before she'd whisked him away. Being perfectly honest, she just hadn't felt the need to pay attention to them.

Arram grinned suddenly, a different kind of smile than the kind he gave her, but quite possibly the happiest she had seen him, "My student," He explained.

Varice relaxed and sighed internally at her actions. Suppose he had taken another lover? How could she hold it against him? She had not held anything resembling claim to him for nearly 10 years. She was being petty, but she couldn't stop herself. "Somehow I knew you'd be a teacher," she said lightly. "You admired Master Lindhall so much, I knew you'd try to become him."

"And I'm failing most spectacularly, let me tell you," he replied, laughing. "No one has his patience, myself least of all. Daine's, rather spectacular success, are do to her skills, not mine."

She did not recall him being so humble. Then again, she knew him as the Emperor's best friend, the most powerful mage the University had seen in ages, tall, handsome, accepted. He had very little reason to be humble. "You're proud of her, aren't you?" She remembered that this girl was the one said to have Wild Magic, magic Arram had tried to prove existed to many. She hadn't believed him either, but was happy to hear his efforts had not been in vain.

"Extremely," he said, cheerfully. "I suppose I'll have another chance to properly introduce you both."

Something in his tone made Varice fully realize how she had taken him away from his companions without any care for them at all. Really, he didn't much care for the idea of a delegation to begin with. Of course, she was happy they were not going to war, especially when they had every right to – but this was another instance of un-Ozorne-like behavior. The fact that these northerners were quite possible walking into it did not give her an entirely favorable opinion.

All the same, they were Arram's companions and she owed them some semblance of respect. But she would not feel guilt for taking any chance to catch up with him, and no one could fault for it. These Tortallans could spend all the time in the world with the man, when they were home. She could not.

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><p>We're not DONE, dearies! No where close! This just felt like a nice entrance. Soon enough our blonde will notice her ex-lover's behavior when it comes to his student in a bit more detail. Right now she's just too happy to see him to care about anyone else at all.<p> 


	2. Numair

Welcome back, loves! Got a bit more for you. Fairly short because it's just a continuation of the last scene. I'll be moving forward next post.

I'm trying to make her as true-to-life as I can. Honestly, I'm basically writing how I would be if I were her. That said, I acknowledge the fact that I have worst jealous streak in the universe, and I also hate it, and try to strangle it but it often gets the best of me and my thoughts/actions. I have a feeling Varice is the same.

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><p>"He's gotten better at them," Arram commented dryly at a lull in the conversation. There hadn't been many thus far. Between his curiosity and her wish to keep him talking with her there had been little loss for words on either's part.<p>

Varice blinked, "Who's gotten better at what?"

He grinned, a bitter sort of grin, really. "The Emperor. Simulacrums."

She blinked a few more times, and then looked up at the throne where Ozorne sat. It took her a moment to realize what the mage meant by that. She turned her wide eyes back to him. "It's not."

"It is."

She looked back at the copy, "It can't be."

"It is."

"But how can you possibly tell?"

He laughed now, "It wounds me that you have so little faith in my abilities, my dear."

She smiled, warmth from his teasing filling her. Yet, she was a bit concerned. How many times had Ozorne fooled everyone with these copies? What had he been doing while people assumed he was at a ceremony or meeting? "I'm not saying you cannot tell, I just want to know _how_."

"I've learnt a bit since leaving," he said, lightly enough. "Including how to sense others gifts. I got a good view of it when we were first introduced, earlier this evening. That," he gestured to the 'emperor' on his dais, "nothing. Not even a glimmer."

Varice let out a whistle of appreciation, which earned him a brighter grin – looking more like the cocky young man he'd once been. "Where do you suppose he is then?" She asked.

Wrong thing to say. Arram's easy smile evaporated. He was suddenly lost in thought, the slight frown deepening as something obviously unpleasant occurred to him. He spoke at last, quiet and strained, "With Daine, no doubt. If he's anything at all like I remember, the idea of her magic fascinates him. I'm sure he wants to witness her power, himself."

His voice was bleak, emotionless. Part of it, the woman attributed instantly to hatred and fear for the man who once wanted him dead, but under that was the sure tones of protectiveness, and deep concern. This girl was powerful, what's more she was important to Arram. It made sense of course, his student with a man he had reason to fear, but she found herself frowning all the same. Did she simply not want any other woman his life? No matter that she was a young girl barely out of childhood. Was she really going to be that clingy?

"Enough about Carthak," Varice said at last, unsure of what else she could say, and tried to keep her voice light. Of course, there was plenty more to tell, and she could have gone on that way for the rest of a very long evening. However, this was obviously not the topic to continue on with Arram's change of mood. "Tell me about Tortall. What's it like?"

"Tortall?" He asked. He sounded distracted, obviously lost in less-than-pleasant thoughts. Was he truly so worried about this Daine? Surely, if she was powerful as they'd heard she could take care of herself. Besides, Ozorne was not going to harm a _child_, not if he truly was looking for peace. She didn't want to argue that with Arram though. She wanted to get this girl off of his mind.

"Tortall, Corus, Their Majesties. We only get the most watered down of rumors here. What is it like?"

He shrugged, "Colder," he said simply, then laughed a little. "But at the same time, warmer. People there are," he seemed to grope for a phrase, "more easy going, I suppose. It was quite a comfort when I first, first came there." His smile was real enough but his eyes spoke volumes, as he seemed to recall a hundred different memories spanning from painful to delightful. He shook it off, and gave her a more boyish smile, "You'd like it there."

Varice laughed but shook her head, "I'm happy here, Arram." Though her stomach had flipped. Had that been an offer? Did he want her to return with him? Her hopes plummeted, though. She worked for Ozorne, and strange as he was acting currently, she knew his sense of ownership was not being compromised. Even in the case of peace she had a feeling she'd be remaining.

What she'd said was the truth, though. Even with all the wonders Tortall was said to have, she'd never felt an urge to leave Carkthak. Not really. She had found her niche in life. Even if it meant working for a man like Ozorne, she did what she loved and although she hadn't taken a lover since Arram, she did have friends, people she loved, in the city. It was a cold feeling, knowing that whatever she and Arram could have while he was there would be gone again when he left. And he would leave. She knew that.

He'd said something she didn't catch, "What?" She asked, embarrassed for having spaced out in personal, selfish thoughts.

"Would you mind, using Numair," he clarified. When she simply stared at him, he cleared his throat, "I know it's not as if no one knows who I am, but it's, well, I suppose it's habit now. I've grown accustomed to it." Varice wondered if she was still in her thoughts or if the undertone in his voice was really there. _It's who I am now._ She had wanted to ask him more, about his life in Tortall, but suddenly she didn't. She didn't want to hear about Numair, about _Numair's_ life and_Numair's_ friends. He was in Carthak, talking to her now. She could pretend, couldn't she? That he was Arram still. At least while he was here.

But he wanted her to call him Numair. She would do that, at least aloud, if it made him at ease.

"It'll- It'll take some getting used to." She finally said.

He chuckled, and looked to be- he really was! He was blushing! Varice had never seen him blush, "It's a bit- a bit spectacular, yes."

She laughed, "Well, don't tell me that's not what you wanted." The man's blush darkened. She could hardly believe it. She still kept expecting the friend of the Tortallan king would be just as self-assured as the friend of the Carthaki Emperor. _Perhaps that may have been the case,_ a sour voice in the back of her mind told her, i_f he was Arram. He is Numair now, and you can't pretend he's not._

At that moment, Arram gave her a sheepish, but warm smile. Just for her. _Yes, I can_, she told the voice stubbornly. _As long as he's being Arram for me,_ and from her viewpoint, he was, _I can._

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><p>Poor girl is not having a good time. She so WANTS him to be the same Arram he was before, but she knows he isn't and she can't make him be. So she's kind of living in her own little fantasy where he is - another aspect of my own personality interjected in there. (She's kind of like my worst characteristics all rolled in one. Lovely.)<p>

Meanwhile, she's trying not to feel jealous about a girl-child. And it's not exactly working out. And it's only going to get worse.

Please review. It'll make me happy. :)


	3. Daine

Hello Hello! I went on a plethora of vacations and had no writing time. But I do now and so have another lovely installment!

I hope I'm still writing to your satisfaction. Do enjoy! :)

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><p>The next morning was viewed with a whole range of emotions Varice did not want as she prepared to join Prince Kaddar in giving the Tortallan's a guided tour of the Emperor's Menagerie. Well, menageries, but Varice was not overly fond of the second one and preferred not to think of it at all.<p>

The end of the previous evening saw her returning to her chambers, and Arram to the guest chambers his delegation was given. And that was how it ought to have been, of course. It wasn't logical to think he would offer to take up their… _physical affairs_ after so much had changed, and Varice was not half so bold as to make such an offer herself. Not unless he gave her a crystal clear signal that he was interested in that, and as charming and warm as he'd been to her, his thoughts were in too many places for it to have likely even crossed his mind.

Well, not quite. Before the pair separated definitely for the night, Arram had surprised her with a kiss. Particularly chaste, compared to what she remembered from him, and when he'd looked at her he looked sad.

She thought of what to make of that look as she dressed to see him again, him and his group. It was a sort of melancholy. Perhaps he, too, wished they could seamlessly shift back into what they had been when he'd left. Her mind flipped from joy that such thoughts were not hers alone and depression that they couldn't, and he likely knew that. Both moods were chastised by the cool calm woman she'd been all the years he had been gone, a part of her that was steadily being buried by the girlish emotions Arram's presence inspired. It was very frustrating.

In the end, she decided she ought to focus on the more cheerful one, delusional as it may be. Convincing herself it would only hurt Arram if she seemed upset, she gave him a bright smile as she approached the group, Kaddar beside her. Steeling herself, she walked straight to him and kissed his cheek.

The rules of etiquette already laid out, she told him, "I shall walk with His Grace," with a glance at the Duke she'd never given more than, well, a glance. He seemed kind enough. Something Varice wasn't used to in nobility. "But stay close, please. You know so much more about animals than I do." Arram smiled pleasantly enough to that.

"Numair's loss is my gain, Lady Varice." The Duke said with a bow. She wasn't sure why but she found herself smiling a bit at the man. Correct or no, the comment was more sincere than she often got.

The concentration on that vanished as she heard the Champion woman speaking of the girl, Daine, and caught the sour look on the girl's face. This was the first time Varice had got a true look at her, and so she scrutinized her as subtly as possible. She was taller than the famous Alanna, dressed in casual finery that still managed to make her look uncomfortable. Thick, smoky brown curls fell around a face with attractive features that, even with apparent youth, showed no childishness.

Yes, the girl was pretty, despite the barely controlled scowl as the prince bowed and offered her his arm. That hardly seemed like the time to frown. Kaddar was a handsome young man by any standards and Varice was certain a number of girls in his class at the university would love Daine's position. She took Prince Kaddar's arm with a false smile, then glance at her teacher and let it fade. Oh. _Oh._

Now she was taking her perception too far, and she knew it. The young mage girl could have been frowning at her teacher for many a reason, and none of those scowls had been aimed at Varice that she could see, and Daine hardly appeared good at subtly. And even then, it made more sense for the girl to be uncomfortable with her teacher having personal relations she knew nothing of, right? In fact, it probably made more sense than Varice being uncomfortable with anything relating to the mage. She had known him longer, but she had known Arram. Daine knew _Numair_, the man he'd been in Tortall for years_._ That thought burned away the kinder logic in her mind, leaving her irrationally hurt and- _no_. She mentally shook herself and returned to the task at hand, the tour. As Kaddar spoke and the group was led to the first menagerie, she ordered herself not to pay anymore attention to the dynamic between teacher and student, if not pay as little attention to Daine as possible.

That didn't last very long. Her being toward the front of their little parade, and her attempts to stay true to her order meant she didn't see Daine separate from the group until the Duke, Gareth she recalled his name was, mentioned it to Arram.

"We're in a building full of animals she's never seen outside the pages of her books, are you at all surprised?" The mage responded with something torn between exasperation and amusement. When the Duke gave him a serious look, he raised his hands with a small laugh. "Alright, I'll go find her. I'll be dragging her kicking and screaming, you realize." Without waiting for a reply, he turned back in search of his missing student, appearing more cheerful than Varice had seen him all morning. Talk of his student had brought his guard up the night before, now it seemed to all but dismantle it. That was puzzling, and it took all her control to try and stop herself from being caught back up in silly thoughts.

That also failed, as she turned a bit to watch where Arram was going, only to see him take the turn toward the hyenas' cage. It would be just so, that this girl managed to stumble across the one section they weren't supposed to see.

Varice turned to catch the prince's eye to see his thoughts following hers. "Shall I escort them back, your majesty?" She asked politely, knowing he would understand. He nodded, and she set off in a fast walk.

She found the pair, teacher and student, standing above the cage, looking down at the inhabitants and in the middle of what appeared to be a lesson. Arram was stooping a little to allow himself to speak quietly to her, and she beamed up at him with a smile that lit up her entire face.

Biting down a horde of unpleasant feelings that had settled in her stomach, and feeling as though she had just glimpsed something rather private, she spoke. "Excuse me." She forced her voice into politeness. "I'm sorry. These animals aren't to be shown to visitors. I don't know why the emperor keeps them, when he doesn't even like them… Numair," she secretly hated the sound of that name, "Daine, please come back. There's another part of the menagerie you haven't seen." She wasn't looking forward to that bit, but it seemed a good way to get their attentions back.

Thoughtlessly letting her emotions rule her, Varice linked her arm with Arram's and led him away from his student without a glance back at her. She did glance at him, and was pleased that, while his mind once again seemed occupied, he did not appear angry with her taking him away from Daine. And that was all the justification she needed.

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><p>Oh dear, oh dear. She's beginning to guess something is up, at least on Daine's part but she can't tell if that's just her delusionalwishfulness thinking for her. Not pleasant. Besides, she's trying to convince herself that Daine has more... right to Numair than she does. But we all see how that's working out.

The Numair kissing her I wanted to do. Have you ever gotten together with friends you haven't seen in AGES and tried to do the things you did back when you were close, hoping to just pick back up, only to find it's not the same and can't ever be? That's what I imagine it as, hence his expression, afterwards. I think he would have liked to still be in love with Varice, but after that moment he knew 100% for certain that he couldn't.

Reviews make me feel loved. They also help writing - honest. ;)


	4. Immortals

Look! MORE. This one is going down a wee bit of a different track and is concentrating more on the fact that I don't think Varice is silly/oblivious to many things in Carthak.

Hope you all enjoy it, all the same.

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><p>Daine had caught up with the group as Kaddar announced, "This is my uncle's other collection. Each and every one of these was captured and brought here for causing trouble to humans."<p>

Varice braced herself as the doors opened. The woman hated immortals – or, to be more accurate, was terrified of them. She understood the urge to lock them up where they could cause no harm, but making those cages a tourist attraction? It was a way to brag, of course, and the Emperor loved to brag, but it made her uncomfortable to be in the same room as these unnatural creatures, be them behind bars or not.

The first reaction was a screech, too high pitched to be human. Daine's dragon then. Of course, a dragon WOULD be upset to see her kindred locked up, Varice thought. At the same time she wondered why these immortals frightened her but she'd had no such scare at the small dragon that followed Arram's student like a puppy.

"Kitten, hush." Daine murmured, her voice sounding strained and unhappy. The dragon was quiet. At least the thing was obedient. Perhaps that's why Varice didn't mind her. She stole a glance at her. _And they're sort of cute when they're small and manageable, not much different another pet, just more intelligent._ All the same, she was very glad she would never have to see the little one's family as they would not be half so charming.

And not a single other immortal in this hall was half so cute as Kitten, she decided, as if she were trying to be objective about all of this. She felt a moment of sympathy for Tortall. The kingdom had to deal with being attacked by these fearsome things. On a fairly regular basis, too, or so Arram had told her the one time she'd managed to ask him what he'd been doing in Tortall as of late. She didn't like the thought of him being sent to deal with them where he could be hurt or killed, and liked even less that Daine seemed to always travel with him – despite the fact that that might make it safer for him.

She liked least of all the fact that it was practically common knowledge that Carthak had unleashed said immortals on their northern neighbors, no matter what Ozorne and his officials said. But there was hardly anything Varice could do about that. She was influential as she was powerful, and she knew it.

There was no conversation as the group was lead past the cages. Varice had a strong feeling no one was particularly happy to see immortals, even if they were caged. Kaddar, as silent as the group he guided, led them to Varice's least favorite part of the menagerie. Stormwings. She could somewhat deal with animal-like creatures, and even Spidrens and Centaurs. But something about Stormwings always seemed knowing, in a very unsettling way. They scared her most of all, and for that she hated them most as well.

And, of course, they would be the only immortals the Emperor allied himself with.

Daine appeared to have had a similar thought and spoke up for the first time since they'd entered that room, and really, the first time that day.

"I thought your uncle was allied with the Stormwings!" Hardly a way to address a prince, but Varice imagined that was the last thing this child cared about.

Kaddar took no offence, and replied in a tone that, had he been free to speak and act casually would surely have been paired with a shrug, "He is. The price of the pact with the Stormwing King Jokhun was that Queen Barzha and her mate Hebakh are kept here. Believe me, she would have caused just as much havoc in Carthak as Stormwings have in the north, if my uncle had not made the alliance." Varice suppressed a shudder at that thought.

But Daine wasn't content with that. "What do feed them?" She asked in a voice that trembled, and not with fear either. Varice stared at the young girl who seemed legitimately angry. Her blue eyes flashed in a way that convinced her that if she kept going she was going to say something both parties would regret, and she didn't appear to care. Arram must have thought the same, and quickly put a hand on her shoulder. The attempt to calm her was in vain; she shook his hand away, and continued, "Do you bring folk in and scare them, so they can live on that? And these cages are too small. The griffin can barely open its wings!"

Insane. Varice openly gaped at the most foolish display she'd ever witnessed. Of course she had heard that the girl had magic that bonded her to animals, mortal and immortal. But even then, she had fought these _things_ for months, for_years_. She couldn't honestly be defending them. On top of that, to protest or even show open dislike for imperial_anything_ was very unwise, even just in front of Kaddar who was far more easy-going than his uncle. But if Daine was going to go on speaking her mind around anything that displeased her she'd be signing her entire delegation's death warrants. The stupid girl!

"They don't need food and they don't require more room," Varice said coldly, trying to turn her off by being rude. "You know these creatures don't fall ill and die. Unless they are slain they live forever. Would you _rather_ let them raid villages and destroy crops?" She added, trying to remind the foolhardy girl just what it was she was defending.

"We offer no criticism of the way your Emperor chooses to run his domain," The Duke Gareth said in a patient voice, as he locked eyes with Daine. He continued, "Daine speaks only because her bond with all creatures gives her a dislike of cages." As he made a polite, but rather hasty way to end this tour, Varice caught the look on Daine's face. Her cheeks were an embarrassed red and she chewed on her lower lip, looking altogether very unhappy.

She felt briefly sorry for her, even as Arram placed a hand on the younger girl's shoulder, much gentler and said something soft and doubtlessly comforting to her as they headed out. Whatever good Wild Magic gave her it was obviously unpleasant having to juggle the emotions of two worlds – three, if immortals were included. Heck, Varice could barely understand the emotions of her own kind! She didn't regret her words, though, even if it had gotten Daine in trouble. If it meant she wouldn't make any more rash commentaries, than good.

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><p>Yes, not much in the way of Arram thoughts here, but really... while our girl still loves him, she doesn't have a one-track mind. She's going to be thinking about other things, worrying about other people and being upset about other things that don't relate to him. She had her own life without him all those years, too.<p>

So she has mixed feelings on Daine. On one hand, she's jealous of the attention she gets from Arram, and she thinks she's incredibly foolish to speak out as she does. Meanwhile, she's making a valiant attempt to understand what it must be like for her. She also makes an attempt to understand immortals through Kitten but came to the same conclusion _I_would. 'Oh they're so adorable when they're two feet tall and the most their magic can do is break locks. Just don't let me near the bigger ones!'

REVIEWS ARE GREAT. kthnxbye.


	5. Banquets

So school started and it sucks. But I'll still be giving you updates don't you worry!

Hope you enjoy this one, I liked writing it a lot!

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><p>There was a break after post-menagerie refreshments and then the lunch banquet.<p>

Varice wanted nothing more than to sit by Arram, but she couldn't do much sitting, honestly. Being the first formal meal the Tortallans and other ambassadors present her job came first. Not that she really minded showing off her food that was considered a wonder of Carthak in itself. She couldn't create a simulacrum, or make a shield with her gift. But she could do this, and she was happy with that.

And so she ushered about making sure everyone was receiving their share of the delicacies. Had they tried this, or that? Did they even _have_ this sort of animal in Tortall? She was absolutely glowing as praises reached her, even in the form of appreciative 'mmm's as the cool foods were tasted.

She made no attempt to hide the special treatment she gave Arram. The best of, well, everything, went to his plate. He ate slowly, she noticed, and she belatedly realized that she was giving him more and more without waiting for him to finish the last. She paused briefly to eye him in absent worry.

"Are you doing alright?" She asked.

He had been picking at the food, looking rather absent himself. He came back to himself and gave her a small smile, "Fine. It's all very good," he added, with a gesture to the plate. It was mostly full, but Varice was too pleased with the compliment to truly notice that.

"Thank you."

The smile grew and seemed in a way more genuine. "I can tell you're proud of this."

This from Arram, who had always told her that she should try and do more with her gift; a quarrel they often returned to. She felt absurdly pleased. "I am."

"I'm glad for you," he said. He still smiled but something in his eyes brought Varice back to the conclusion it had made years ago; that power did not equal happiness. In fact, from her viewpoint, it appeared to be quite the opposite. That never seemed to stop people from trying. She, on the other hand, just liked being useful. And the knowledge that what she did was good, such as this lunch, was all she needed to justify her position. She gave Arram a bright smile and returned to her duties.

Varice's good mood could not have gotten higher when it suddenly fell… hard.

She'd not meant to give Daine more than a glance, but when she saw the grin on the girl's face her suspicions were instantly roused. From what she'd seen of Arram's young student, she didn't smile particularly often – she seemed to like being in Carthak less than the older delegates, and that said something. So, to see her look rather unabashedly happy, Varice followed the girl's gaze to the source of her amusement…

And found Arram, grinning a wide, happy grin back at his student, as if sharing a very good, very private joke between the pair of them. The unpleasant emotions from the menagerie came back in a flood, and it took all of her will not to scowl and rouse all sorts of unwanted questions from the people around her. At least Arram looked to have eaten more. Somehow that wasn't much consolation.

She didn't like this. She was getting jealous of a girl who looked to be no older than 16, maybe. _Daine could very well be half Arram's age!_ He was obviously proud of her skills and admired her strength; that much was clear in his tone when he spoke about her. Then, Daine couldn't be blamed for having formed a connection with him in all the years she'd been his student. Perhaps she felt like Arram was an older brother of sorts to her. And if the child did have something of a crush on him, who could blame her; he was, after all, a very warm, charming person.

Varice felt even sillier for working together this convincing speech in her head. But for her sanity, it was quite necessary. And so, she continued on that mental tangent for the remainder of the banquet, pleased, at the very least, that Arram and Daine did not share any more secret smiles.

The peace talks began shortly after and, not being of much consequence whereas such large decisions and debates were concerned, Varice was not present.

This did little to help her mood, as now on top of everything, she was fretting about how this fragile peace would turn out. Ozorne claimed he simply did not want war and enmity with Tortall, but the Emperor did nothing without thinking of what he gained, and he wouldn't view the saved money and resources as a personal gain. He had to want something more. In what Varice knew of the man he always wanted more. More money, more land, more soldiers, more proof to him that he was superior.

In all honesty, he scared her as much as immortals did, perhaps more because he did not have the excuse of looks and a different species to explain it.

She tried to put the Emperor out of her head and thought of the first thing that came to mind. Of course that was Arram. Despite all the awkward moments, on her behalf at least, she still had been pleased to spend the morning, more or less, with him. She knew the way the schedule had been placed that he would have little time to spend alone with her and talk, the way they did that first night.

That made her unhappy until she thought of something. _Dinners_. She was, in a way, in charge of the seating at meals. Unless His Imperial Majesty gave her specific orders she could place the Tortallan delegation members wherever she chose. There and then, she could speak to Arram as privately as manageable, for the two of them would sit well away from anyone who could distract the mage.

Varice was briefly struck by just how selfish doing so would be. She shook that away. As she'd thought, numerous times, now, Arram's friends had seen him near daily before coming here, and they could do the same when they returned. They spent their days either having dull talks, or taking similarly dull tours. They'd have no pressing matters that had to be discussed at dinner. And if the talks troubled Arram in some way or another… well, then he could talk to her. She wanted him to trust her. She was aware, after all that had happened complete trust was impossible, but she could dream. And did.

When the dinner banquet arrived, more elaborate than lunch, Varice was in a hurry to get her plan going, before she convinced herself against it.

That reason piled up among the dozens to why she was distressed to find the Tortallan delegation being introduced to the Stormwing king – the one on their side, supposedly – and his vassal. Both had come in the past, though she'd never cared to learn names. They didn't eat, but on occasion they did sit during a dinner, the king of the foul creatures speaking with Ozorne in a low voice about things no one dared ask about, even in their heads.

Arram – and Daine – had just finished a short conversation of sorts with the fairer of the two Stormwings, which Varice at first thought odd; They often paid no attention to other mortals, the one thing Varice was grateful for. All the same, the shock wore off quickly. This was Daine, if anyone could be on something resembling speaking terms with those things it would be her. Though, for all her standing up for them in the menagerie, she looked no more pleased about the conversation than Varice would have.

As the pair, Arram and Daine, moved further away, he leaned to murmur something to his student, who nodded absently. The whole image they gave off was that of two people completely comfortable with one another, and though there was nothing intimate about their posture Varice felt the desperate need to separate them, and now.

"There you are!" She called to Arram, making her voice as convincingly surprised as she could. Neither looked to doubt it, though Daine instantly deflated a little. She didn't spare her more of a look than that, as she lead Arram to the seat she'd planned out just for him. He was lost in a thought, per usual, but at least that meant he didn't notice she'd planned this, and would not protest the action. Good.

With that she returned to escort the now openly scowling girl to a seat beside the Prince, hoping with all her heart that that would cheer her in some way. Somewhere in the back of her mind Varice knew Daine wasn't a bad girl in any sense, but by this point it was two late to change her mind in this plan of hers, so with a bland smile she left girl, Prince, and dragon and returned to Arram.

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><p>LOTS OF STUFF HAPPENED. Yeah. Varice is quite far gone now... poor girl. She's still trying to give Daine a chance, trying to tell herself she's not jealous. But yeah. No.<p>

Anyways, this was a fun one to write. Hope you enjoyed. REVIEW.


	6. Gods

**I'M SORRY. HIGH SCHOOL SUCKS.** XD Anyways, I've had ideas for this update for like... weeks now, scrawled in my math, english, and Japanese folders. I've finally gotten around to typing it out. I don't know how you put up with me, really.

Anyways, I've got more. More observant Varice, some foreshadowing, and a great deal of uncomfortable situations! Yippiee!

REPLY, too. I really love that. XD

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><p>Arram's appetite did not appear to have improved from their lunch. He assured Varice, numerous times, that the food was just fine. He simply wasn't hungry. Still she watched him with curiosity bordering nervousness. It was not unlike him to be lost in thought, but it was bugging her more and more that she hadn't the faintest idea what those thoughts were of. Of course, if it had anything to do with his own nerves or simply being uncomfortable in Carthak, which it likely did, she couldn't judge him. She just liked to imagine that he would be a bit more comfortable with her. A hopeless delusion if she'd ever had one, but one she didn't think she would shake. So far, though, she had yet to see him as talkative as the first night there.<p>

It could have been that Stormwing lord he and Daine had spoken to briefly before the dinner. Varice knew, if it were her, that experience would not make her eager to eat anything for a good while. However, that hardly seemed to be the case with Daine who, when she glanced at the younger girl, was deep in conversation with the Prince and eating without any sign of problems. Arram, if anything, simply seemed to be thinking too much for it to occur to him that he needed food. How very like him.

Between that, and the knowledge that Daine was getting along much better with Kadder wiped out most of Varice's concern and allowed her to return herself to polite conversation and her own food. No matter that the prince could never have romantic relations with the child, let her attention be on him the rest of this trip. She shouldn't be allowed to be the only one with an unhappy ending to this trip. Besides the prince deserved to have a few more people talk to him like a real person, something Daine seemed particularly good at – was she so informal with the leaders of her realm? Varice had never seen someone so completely blunt.

At a lull in the conversation, Varice was in a good enough mood to risk talking about Daine to Arram; something she usually went to great pains to avoid.

"How long have you known her?"

"Daine?" He asked, glancing up from where he'd returned to picking at his mostly full plate.

"Who else?" She said. She reflected after that she could have been asking about Alanna, but she figured that everyone knew just about everything there was to know about the Tortallan King's Champion. For all her achievements, Varice wasn't much curious about her. She'd felt no need to watch her and Arram's relationship, either. The Lioness was married, and if anything seemed to regard Arram as her not-entirely-respectable brother.

Arram grinned, as seemed to be the instantaneous reaction when his student came into conversation. Hence why Varice hesitated to bring her up. "Three, well, two and a half years to be precise."

Varice felt her eyebrows rise incredulously. Not even three years? And they were already so close. And they _were_ close, whether she wanted to go into the dynamic of their closeness or not that much was clear. A sort of warmth Varice didn't like to think about. That Daine had managed to grow that close to him in so little time was… interesting. She sighed internally, and returned to trying to at least sound objective about this whole thing.

Arram still managed to catch her expression, "What?"

She chose her words with care, "You seem very familiar with her. I would have expected…longer."

"It feels like longer, to be honest," he said, still smiling, "Alanna would say the same. Daine has that affect on…" he trailed off, his eyes looking past her and his expression closing. He didn't look upset, just… confused. Anything that baffled Arram was worth attention. She turned to see what had captured his, and almost wished she hadn't.

She hadn't seen the Banjiku performers enter. They'd performed at numerous banquets and while they're talent was immense, it was nothing new for her, so she hadn't paid them much attention as of late. No, what caught her eye, and most likely Arram's, was the young subject of their previous conversation standing to greet a cheetah with the warmth of one greeting an old friend. Varice found she wasn't even surprised. She was beginning to feel that with as many odd things relating to Daine, she would be almost used to it by the time the delegation left.

However, that didn't mean she couldn't be shocked. And she certainly was, among a whole throng of other unpleasant emotions, as she watched the Emperor join the child and her new animal friends. Next to her, she felt Arram suck in a sharp breath, she glanced back at him, but his face was entirely expressionless, his eyes not leaving the two of them.

The emperor's voice was projected enough that everyone could hear, "They are Banjiku Tribesmen, from Zallara in the south." He sounded polite and kind enough, but anyone who knew Ozorne knew that meant nothing in telling his mood or motives. "They are saying that they think you are a god."

Someone laughed and Daine stuttered that she was no such thing. Meanwhile, Varice wondered at the look on Numair's face. It owed as much to anger as it did to an intense sort of interest in the conversation, looking at Daine as if seeing her for the first time, and muttering something quietly to himself.

"Arram?" She asked softly. He didn't even blink. "Arr- _Numair_," she said in a voice that sounded sullen under it's concern.

That did get his attention, "What is it?"

"Are you alright?" She had a dozen other questions, but that seemed most important.

"Fine," he said shortly, making it obvious that he was both not fine and that his mind was rather far away. Varice fought to keep her eyes from rolling. He watched the exchange for a second longer before standing. With lightness that a child could tell was false he said, "I'll be right back."

No more of an explanation than that, the tall mage walked briskly to join Daine, and Ozorne, to discuss Daine's possible Godhood. Impossible more like, Varice thought scornfully. The girl was powerful, no doubt about that, but a _GOD_? There wasn't the slightest chance. She was entirely too human for that. She sighed, watching the two men with a mixture of exasperation, and fear at the sight of the pair that were mortal enemies if there ever was such a thing so close to each other. Added to that was added anger for Daine, who was the reason these two dangerous people were within each others' reach for the first time in nearly a decade.

Thankfully that didn't last much longer as the Emperor made a command of the performers – who had also been part of this conversation – and returned to his seat. Arram gave his student a squeeze on the shoulder, and returned to sit beside Varice. He still had a far away look on his face, but appeared less upset or perhaps had just controlled that. Varice expected he often had to keep his anger in check here. That wasn't a pleasant thought.

She spoke up without thinking, "what was that about? They don't actually believe- you don't really think she's a god, do you?"

He actually smiled, small and rueful but a smile. "Not a god, not exactly. The Banjiku believe she is the daughter of a god."

"The _daughter_ – !" So much for no longer being startled by Daine's strangeness, "which god?" She asked, and then mentally kicked herself for believing such a ridiculous thought.

"They don't know," he said slowly, as if watching his own words, "I'm trying to work that out for myself."

She blinked. "'Work it out?' You don't _believe_ that?"

Arram picked at his food, obviously thinking hard, "I believe she's something," he said after a pause. "I am not sure what, but her magic is stronger than any wild magic I've ever witnessed. I can't help feeling something must have added to it." He cut himself off short, making a slight face as if chastising himself for saying too much. She blinked again, than realized he likely didn't want to go too far into talking of Daine as a godchild where the Emperor might overhear. His fear that the Emperor paid too much attention to his student would likely be much worse if Ozorne knew Daine was a demigoddess. _If_ she was a demigoddess. Which she wasn't. She couldn't be.

Varice sighed, not caring if Arram heard, and returned to her meal. It was safer than continuing this conversation anyhow.

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><p>Well, then. That was... special, now wasn't it? Varice still doesn't like Daine, but still seems something like concerned for her. I thought Numair should talk about Daine some to Varice... and some fuel to that fire. XD<p>

Anywho, yeah. Please review and thank you again for putting up with my school sched. 3 y'all!


	7. Protective

**I'M SORRY. AGAIN.**

This was less an issue of no time and more an issue of no inspiration. Maybe that's not the word for it. I knew exactly how I wanted this scene and chapter to go but it was SO HARD TO WRITE. You'll see why when you read it. It's a very... interesting situation I felt I _had_ to use.

So enjoy.

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><p>The dinner wound up and while Varice was distracted in compliments for another successful meal, Arram – and Daine – slipped out of her vision for a short time.<p>

Once again, they were spotted with the blonde Stormwing. Something had shifted in the conversation, though without hearing the conversation itself, she couldn't actually say what. The otherworldly creature actually seemed to be holding something similar to a civilized conversation with the pair of mortals. Varice didn't know if she should be amazed or horrified, and was too overall shocked to really make the distinction.

Was it a good thing or not – making nice to an enemy's ally? With the emntiy between Tortall and stromwings, in particular, Carthaki ones, she couldn't imagine them talking about any sort of alliance. But why else would they, even Daine, bother talking to a stormwing, any stormwing? They couldn't just be conversing normally, whether they were trying for peace with Carthak or not. This just, Varice just knew something was not right. The stormwing in question's sudden departure only seemed to confirm her concerns.

This whole situation was starting to have a sort of precarious feel about it that Varice did not like at all. The idea of Arram leaving in a few weeks was bad enough. The idea of this ending with them on opposite sides of a war was the opposite of what she wanted, ever. She chastised herself; the fact that two members of the delegation were talking to a single stormwing said nothing about the progression of peace talks. Still, she didn't like this. She preferred to have Arram near her where she could make sure he was protected.

After all, she was all too aware, as she hoped the Tortallans were, that any slip up that could be traced back to Arram might mean his head. She supposed that was what bothered her so much with the conversation, despite not being privy to it. _Especially_ not being privy to it. Not knowing what had happened, her paranoia of a sort kicked in and she found herself assuming the worst. This was bad. Her thoughts had never run away with her so badly in the past.

To get her own mind back to the present, Varice made a valiant, and surprisingly successful attempt to get Daine and her potential godhood – as well as whatever else he was thinking of – off of Arram's mind as the evening drew to a close.

Successful. _Too_ successful.

Varice awoke the following morning with the feeling of someone who had not gotten much in the way of actual rest. The reason why became clear when she realized she was not in her room and an instant later recognized the man sleeping beside her. She squeezed her eyes shut again, while internally wondering at her reaction.

They'd ended up here, hadn't they? And, as far as she could recall, they'd both been sober… wasn't this, somewhere in the back of her head, what she wanted? Why did it feel so upsetting, if not completely wrong? It couldn't have been guilt; she knew for certain he had no lover, and although his closeness to his student bothered her at times there was nothing between them, nor did she believe he loved her in that sense. At the end of the day, Daine was still a child. All the same, she tossed and turned and debated leaving before Arram woke.

She didn't. Instead she thought about what had made her unhappy after something that should have had her spirits floating higher than a kite. After all that's how she'd always felt afterwards in the past. But that was really just it. It was as if this had been some attempt to go back to being his lover, just as she had been so many years ago. And as…_pleasant_ as the attempt was, it only made it that much clearer to her that she couldn't be. He had other things in his life now. They wanted different things, and though their separate paths were crossing again, they'd only separate again too.

Coming to that conclusion only made her thoroughly miserable, because, all of that aside the young woman Varice once was still loved him. So, she consented herself to burying her head in the pillow and trying not to think too much, and very much trying not to imagine Arram's probable reaction to this scene.

Thankfully, she didn't have to. She heard him stir when there came a knock at the door. She pretended to sleep as to avoid any confrontation about this, so she didn't see or hear anything and it took her a minute or two to realize that he'd left the room. She sat up and then wished she hadn't as he entered again. He gave her little more than a glance, which she didn't know if she should be grateful or hurt by, and paced a few steps. He was tense, she realized, upset… worried.

"What's the matter?" She asked softly.

He looked at her again, as if remembering she was there, and then attempted a reassuring smile that helped nothing. He let it fade, looking more tired and strained still. "Daine's missing. Alanna says she's not in her rooms or the surrounding quarters."

Though Varice couldn't say she was surprised, it still hurt and bothered her that Daine was the first thing that came up this morning. But she hadn't wanted to talk about the previous night. She couldn't win for losing here.

And that wasn't all that bothered her. "So maybe she's gone for a walk," she said. She couldn't help the slight mocking in her tone. She was not in the best of moods.

Arram missed it completely. "If she had she would have left a note at the very least. But Daine knows she's not supposed to wander off alone."

Daine didn't seem the type of girl who would let rules get in her way much, but Varice knew well enough not to say that. Instead she said, "Arra- Numair, I'm sure she's fine," in her best soothing tone.

"I'd feel better about that if I knew where she was." He paused, but only briefly, "I believe I'm going to go look for her."

Go wandering about the palace grounds alone, so high-strung about his missing student. Gods knew what that would lead to! For his safety and her sanity she spoke quickly and a little louder than planned, "_Arram!_ She's not a child. She's perfectly clever enough not walk into trouble. You can't be so protective of her all her life!"

He actually smiled. It was hardly the happiest of smiles, but it caught her off guard. "Of course I can," he said carelessly, "and will. Especially while we're here. Hopefully, you're right and she's only on a walk. I don't think she could get into the menagerie on her own, thankfully." He was more thinking aloud now. "Either way, I don't believe this will be long."

And with no more of an eloquent goodbye than that, the man Varice had spent the night with had left her in search of his student.

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><p>THINGS HAPPENED. Yeah. So I hope you understand how hard that was to right. Numair with anyone that isn't Daine is just hard to write - but this pretty clearly DID happen. I'm not entirely sure what prompted our mage to do it but I'm going to stick with a fellow Immortal's author, Loten's wording of it; "Whatever else Numair is, he is also a man. And he's not going to say no." XD<p>

Anyways, and this would be before the infamous aviary confrontation of Ozorne and Numair. Gotta love that scene. I do anyways. Varice WILL hear about that too... more in the form of rumors, but still. And she's not going to be pleased.

Reviews are welcome as always. And thank you again for putting up with me.


	8. Anger

**I'M SORRY. _AGAIN._**

Okay so I got a job. And school got harder. And I started reading other books and watched FMA: Brotherhood and my mind split in 24 different directions and none of them were this story and I'm sorry and I love you all.

BUT I'M BACK. And have some more intense stuff happening. So. Numair's had his show down of a sort with Ozorne and though Varice obviously did not see that s*** go down, I suspect she still figured out something went down. Again; the girl isn't stupid, and as I'll explain in this chapter, few people in Ozorne's court are.

Also Jealous!Varice is never really gone.

ENJOY.

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><p>Varice Kingsford would have liked to believe that her day could not have gotten worse than it did in that moment.<p>

Unfortunately, she was quite wrong.

No one employed in the Carthaki Palace was particularly closed-mouthed. Or perhaps, they were – as threat of listening spells and lip-reading spies were always looming in plain sight. Everyone from his Imperial Highness' mages to the lowest slave knew what open gossip meant if caught. But Carthaki's were carnivorous in everything, and gossip was another kind meat they had to have the best of. And thus, there were ways, there were always ways, for people to spread the most interesting, scandalous, or downright shocking occurrences. It was a code of sorts, really and just about everyone knew it.

For this reason, it became known to Varice shortly after leaving the Tortallan delegation's quarters to begin her own daily routine that his Imperial Highness was angry. Openly angry. Now another thing all the people who had to spend their days in some proximity to the Emperor knew was how to gauge his mood. Varice, like others, knew how to look behind a masked smile and read his temper. But, this anger… apparently the most inept of Ozorne's staff would be able to tell he was fuming. This much anger, this unmasked of him, it was something Varice had never heard of, and she knew that this could not be good.

For starters, only one person could make his Excellency Emperor Ozorne so openly emotional. The idea that Arram had indeed been careless enough to anger the man who already wanted him dead made Varice's stomach churn, though she had ate nothing all morning. She tried not to think about what he might have said or done to solicit this response, and yet it was all that occupied her mind.

And of course, to add to this spectacularly awful situation, Varice knew full well what had started this confrontation, and may in fact have been what caused the ending result. Or rather, _who_ had started it. She knew that Daine was going to be trouble for Arram, perhaps it hadn't just been her jealous nature talking. Unless she greatly missed her guess, it was Arram's ridiculous protective streak for the youngling that had brought him to Ozorne and why he had managed to so upset the Emperor. Right then she wasn't sure which of the pair of them she was most upset with.

Besides, Arram might as well have told Ozorne that he would do any manner of reckless things – things the Emperor could gladly twist into being worthy of arrest or execution – to secure Daine's safety. This was as bad as Varice thought Arram's being in Carthak again would be… with an extra couple heapings of bad to top it off.

So, frightened that at any moment she'd catch wind of the news of Arram's arrest or something else equally horrifying, Varice spent the rest of the day preparing for the night's banquet. She could not say she was looking forward to this. Even less when she recalled that said banquet would be hosted on an Imperial ship. If Ozorne was not already planning to use this as a show of strength to Tortall, he certainly would now.

As evening approached, however, the piece of news that reached her was not what she had feared. It was disturbing of course, but not in the way she had been thinking. Another omen. This time the oh-so glorious statues of Carthak's Emperor had been struck by lightening from a cloudless sky, and reduced them both to rubble. It was hardly the first omen Carthak had seen, and, as people were becoming more and more aware, it wouldn't be the last. All the same, they had been getting more frequent, and subsequently more frightening in the last few months. Varice tried not to think about them, but with so many things she tried not to think about it only made sense that the fear of Divine Justice of a sorts crept up now and again.

At least her mind got a little more occupied from frantic worries as the banquet dinner was set up on the ship and guests began to pour in. A small part of Varice relaxed at seeing Daine sit beside Prince Kaddar without her prompting. She'd heard he took her on a tour of the palace, and apparently the out-spoken child hadn't managed to offend him. That was always good.

Soon as she caught sight of Arram, she forgot about everyone else. He looked tired, older than he had when he had arrived. Whatever had gone down between the Emperor and him, it had not been pleasant for him, either – and he looked to be entirely aware of the dangers he'd created. The words of rebuke Varice had died before they were even fully formed. She couldn't do that to him. She'd decided early into this that she would try to make him feel at ease here. And he needed that now.

Putting on a face of placid innocence, she ushered the mage to his seat. Thankfully, once there he didn't seem quite so stiff – even nervous. Though, she knew he could feel the cold look Ozorne had given him, a look Varice had never quite seen on the Carthaki Emperor and wished she'd never see again. At most, he appeared his usual preoccupied self. She had to repeat herself a number of times, but was more relieved in doing so than exasperated.

It was a little over a quarter through the dinner that Varice realized her preoccupied mage was glancing occasionally at his student at the far table. Now she felt that exasperation, among other things, but risked a glance at Daine to see her deep in conversation with the Prince. Frowning, she looked back at Arram just as he got to his feet.

"Will you excuse me for a moment?" He said eloquently, and without waiting for her to even nod, set off in a brisk walk toward the pair.

Varice could strain her ears all she wanted but she couldn't catch a word of the conversation. However, judging by Daine's flaming red cheeks and the cool look Kaddar was giving him, Arram was once again taking his protective streak too far. Varice resisted the urge to cover her face with her palm. And here, again, she always suspected Daine to be the one to offend the Prince at some point or another. It seemed the youngling had learned that from her teacher. She sighed. At least the conversation didn't last long.

As he settled himself back down, she caught a glimpse of his old self in his eyes, looking like something of a mischievous child who had managed to embarrass a friend. It was brief and it was faint, but it softened Varice's annoyance with him just enough.

So she only rolled her eyes, "Ar- Numair, what was that about?"

"Hm? I was only informing Prince Kaddar that a number of Tortallan's would be rather displeased if he were to trifle with Daine's emotions," he said carelessly. "I don't believe he is, but I just wanted to make sure the thought won't ever cross his mind."

Varice held back an exasperated sigh, "She isn't a child," she repeated. "Must you really take it upon yourself to be so overbearing?"

He grinned, which was a pleasant sight, even if it was slightly bitter, "Of course. Besides, she's very important to me – to a lot of people in Tortall – and she has no family. Someone's got to look after her, whether she needs it or not."

That whole speech, heartfelt and endearing though it was, set off the unpleasant thoughts that Varice could never truly keep away. What was it to her that the girl was important to Arram? That was hardly news. Still hearing him say it so ardently hit her so much harder. Whether it were like family or not, the idea that he cared for her more than just as a student was something that she couldn't bear to think about.

Therefore, she pushed the topic away and returned to the food which she suddenly found she had little stomach for.

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><p>So yeah. I'm not sure what I want to say about this that hasn't already been said. Except; Varice is just about on the cusp of knowing that Numair <em>loves<em> Daine. I'm not ready for her to know/be sure quite yet, but she's pretty darn close now.

COMMENTS PLS. And again, I'm sorry.


	9. Fear

I'm sorry it's been so long. Dear, dear readers - I cannot tell you how sorry I am. But I'm here. And here is a nice long update full of a rather big scene, IMO, leading to very many more big scenes. Since I'm on break I plan to write a lot more.

I also re-read all the Immortals books recently, so it's kind of got me re-determined to FINISH THIS.

I hope you all forgive me, and, as always, enjoy!

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><p>In a perverse kind of way, a part of Varice was quite relieved that she had very little time to acknowledge her never-ending jealousy over a girl-child.<p>

Of course, the reasoning behind this intrusion of her thoughts was the exact opposite of relieving.

She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised when the hammering beat of drums interrupted any conversation around the tables, but she jumped all the same. The emperor would obviously have some form of entertainment – whether he was angry enough to set fire to the entire ship or not. He may have been angry, but he was never stupid. She was just concerned about what sort of entertainment Ozorne may have found fitting given his change of mood.

Her questions were quickly answered. A horn call sounded from a tower in the Thak's Gate harbor. As magical fire wound up the masts of each ship anchored there Varice had to bight her tongue to keep from gasping audibly. These were not the usual number of ships seen in Thak's Gate, not the right size either. The vines of magic burned brighter until her fears were confirmed. No, these were not the commercial ships that belonged there, nor civilian vessels. These were war galleys, fully manned.

Was Emperor Ozorne even _trying_ to be subtle anymore?

The entire ship was silent as every dignitary took in the threatening sight. No one had been in a very talkative mood to begin this evening – and it appeared any pretense of natural calm was lost. What was left of any peace agreements appeared to be a hair away from shattering and now everyone was getting a good view of what would happen when they did.

Varice felt queasy, suddenly very glad that she had not eaten too much that night. This was bad. This was really, very bad. Ozorne wasn't trying to appear peaceful any longer, and what that meant for any further talks… and the result if they did come apart. Varice had held tight to a wishful thought, stronger than many of her other delusions and that was that if this peace failed – and she'd always had an uncomfortable idea that they might – that Tortall and Carthak would not go to war, simply reach an impasse or- oh, she didn't know. She had just never truly considered full out war with Tortall.

That now seemed inevitable. There was very little way they could play this situation.

As if her thoughts could be any less dark, the best of Carthak's mages lined the ends of the boats and, with a few gestures and a shouted word, were suddenly lifting the boat slowly, creaking into the air. Varice gripped her table and bit her tongue so hard she felt she tasted blood.

Arram didn't even glance her way, his own dark features fixed on the mages and the process of the lifting boat. However, he asked with a strained casualness that fooled no one, "all right?"

Varice was far from alright, but this was not the time to discuss her doomsday images and her fear of the emperor. So instead she said, "I- I don't like heights." Which wasn't entirely a lie.

As if reading her thoughts, Varice heard a sudden high pitch shriek, which still lost in her own fears took her a moment before realizing belonged to the young dragon.

Daine's whisper seemed all too audible in the silence around her. "No, Kit, stop. Be quiet, understand?"

Well, at least the child understood that this was serious. Someday, Varice might realize that Daine was as far from witless as they come, but now was not the time.

Prince Kaddar helped quiet the dragon as well, having long appeared rather taken with the little creature. "I can't say I blame her," he said in a low voice that carried much further than it ought, "I hate it when he does things like this. Why can't he put such power to use against the drought, instead of staging idle dis-"

"Hush. It isn't safe to talk, remember?"

_Oh_, Varice thought. Perhaps now, despite all going on, she did understand that Daine was practical, and perhaps just as frightened. She didn't have to like the girl, and as inappropriate as snapping at the Prince of Carthak was, she had been thinking the same exact response in her head. Only Daine was precocious enough to say it aloud.

More horns went off, more fires sprang up. Now from the vantage point in the air, it was all too easy to see the largest fleet of ships Varice had ever seen in one single area. No longer simple war vessels, the barges armed with catapults were among them. Varice couldn't look at them too long; she wasn't sure she could keep herself under control for much longer. Instead she concentrated on Daine and the Prince, both staring at the ships with wide eyes and grim expressions. For once, Daine was the more composed of the two.

Without saying a word, and there was no point; no one would pay attention to her at this point, she pushed herself from the table and walked, shakily, over to the pair of younglings. Just as she'd feared, Kaddar's stunned silence had been shaken off and he appeared to be at the beginning or a torrent of emotions that, if heard, could probably get him killed.

For once, Varice took Daine's lead and gripped the young prince's arm, hard and unyielding. Both looked at her in surprise, but she didn't have time to care about acting like herself or not. "Shut up." She breathed fiercely. "What's the matter with you? Do you want to disappear like his last heir?"

"But-"

"She's right – shut up!" Daine cut in, elbowing him hard on his other side. Unbelievable, they were working together. Of course, Varice thought, she was the one who had made Daine out to be her rival for Arram's affections. Something ridiculous, especially in light of all that was happening right then.

Daine continued with the threat of a dragon bite, and Kaddar subsided. And just like that the mage fires died around the war ships and their own boat descended.

They were barely back in the water a second before another ringing sound tore through the air, much like a loud bell._What now?_ Varice thought in dismay. What more could Ozorne do in one night? She found she didn't want to know the answer to that.

However, risking a glance at the man Varice currently feared more than ever before, she saw a puzzled, and not at all pleased look on the Emperor mage's face. This was not part of his planned entertainment.

By this point the ringing had become a cadence of sorts, clanging more like a gong than a bell and growing louder. And then, it became visible; the gigantic statue of horse and rider Varice had seen countless times in the market of Carthak City, only now encased in golden light and in far less majestic posture. The sight wrung her already frazzled nerves and with shaking hands she made the sign against evil like countless people around her. She hadn't thought she could be more afraid than she had already been, but she was now. So much more. There had been more than enough omens before this, but most could be ignored if one chose to be thick enough about it. This, this was painting a picture no one could miss; _you're in trouble._

"Goddess bless," Kaddar breathed beside her. Thankfully, that was all he could manage.

Daine whispered, "No. That's a not a two-legger," then, upon receiving both Varice and Kaddar's confused looks pointed to the small monkey perched on her shoulder. "Zek was asking." How long had that been there? Though, to her defense, Varice's mind had been otherwise occupied.

"It's a statue," she added, unable to stop herself from pointing out the obvious. "Of Zernou, the first Emperor. It stands in Market Square in Carthak City, before the temple of Mithros."

"I don't think it's standing there anymore," murmured Alanna the Lioness, somewhere behind her. At the moment, though, she was too caught up in her thoughts to care about any sarcasm.

The rider cried out a language Varice recognized but didn't understand. The loud ominous voice brought as much of a message as it would have if she did know the words.

Everyone stared after it, long after it leapt off the dock and ran, glowing into the black night. No one said anything, no one moved. After all, what could one say after witnessing all they could have. Varice wasn't altogether sure she could speak at all. Though she gathered herself up enough to ask Kaddar in a shaky voice, "what did he say? It was Old Thak, wasn't it? The first language of the empire?"

"He said 'woe,'" Kaddar replied, his voice equally unstable, "Then he said. 'Woe to the empire – we are forsaken. The gods are angry!"

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><p>WELL. That was something now wasn't it? No, not a lot of Varice-Numair interaction here. But we've got her thinking better of Daine and well, acting like I expect anyone would in this sort of situation.<p>

She's terrified, more than she is of nearly anything else, of going to war with Tortall. She doesn't want that to happen. She's very much, as I see her, someone who wants peace, and things to be nice and would like to run away from anger and all of that forever and ever, and gets rather upset when anger and war happen.

Anyways, I hope you liked it. Things are definitely getting more intense. Next chapter you have more omens and Daine becoming a 'wanted runaway' and Varice's thoughts on _that_.

Reviews are great and _**thanks**_, again. I don't know why you put up with me.


	10. Omens

So, to make up for months of no update (prior to the last one) have a _SUPER LONG ONE. _I wanted to put more in this but it ended up being so much that I couldn't. Got to save some for later, yeah?

Anyways, this was great fun to write. And it did make me feel rather sorry for Varice.

Enjoy.

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><p>She awoke in Arram's bed again. This time, her mind was still too occupied to truly focus on that or feel the guilt that had assuaged her the last time she'd been in this situation. She'd needed to get her mind off of things, he clearly had, too. And there was now a good chance that they would soon be on opposing sides of a war. She found no reason to feel guilty for what had happened.<p>

But she loved him and she was becoming increasingly aware that that feeling was not mutual between themm. He liked her; that was apparent through their conversations and her ability to still get a smile – however strained – from him in stressful situations. And there was enough attraction there, as this was the second night he'd taken her to bed. But friendship, if it could even be called that, and sex wasn't love.

Varice sighed, silently and waited for Arram to wake up, meanwhile rehearsing a way to make a hasty exit. Whether she was guilty or not, she still did not want to have any sort of discussion about what occurred between them now that it was over. There was another extravagant banquet that night; she could claim that she needed to get ready for it. It would have the merit of being entirely true and keep from sounding too much like the retreat it was.

He stirred and sat up reluctantly, looking like he did not sleep well. How anyone could rest easy, Varice didn't know. She'd considered taking something to help her sleep, but had a feeling that wouldn't do anything to help her already manic emotions. She sat up, too, holding the blanket against her and wondering if she should wait for him to speak first.

Thankfully, she didn't. "Varice," Arram began before pausing. It became clear in a matter of seconds that he was thinking of the least rude way of asking her to leave. Instead of being insulted, though there was a touch of hurt, she was mostly relieved as now it would not look as if she were running away. And even if it did, it seemed as though _he_ wished to run from it as well.

She smiled, best she could in this situation. "Should I go?" She asked, too innocently.

He winced, just a little and after clearly taking his time thinking over how to answer he replied, "Your- Carthak's delegates have allowed our party a look into some of your spells. Today is the only day we're allowed to them so-"

Mage things. She truly had no interest in that. That and the fact that perhaps he only needed her to go because of duties and not because he wanted her, too… _oh_ she was completely contradicting herself and knew it.. She came to grips with the idea that he did not love her, but wanted to believe he didn't want her to go. This was hopeless and the sooner she got out of the room the better.

"No, go right ahead," she said frivolously. She got up then paused, extending an accusatory finger at him, "Don't get too wrapped up and forget to eat." The banquet was early for a dinner, which meant no official lunch would be served to the delegates. Forgetting to get his own food was all too in character for the mage.

He gave her a small smile, "I think I can promise that."

She lingered in the doorway more than she wanted to admit, "Well, alright then." She gave the room one more sweeping glance and made the vague observation that the dead vulture mounted on his wall before was now gone. _Odd..._ She shook herself and left.

In the common room area, Varice blushed to find that another member of the delegation was awake. Namely, Alanna the Lioness. She'd never considered the redhead a beauty, and now she seemed even more exhausted. Clearly this trip was weighing on more than just Arram. She felt a prick of sympathy mingle with acute embarrassment.

The Lioness didn't seem to bother with such emotions, simply sitting at the small table at the center of the room and glancing at Varice like she was something she saw everyday. Varice took a breath and moved to exit, with only the smallest of nods to acknowledge of the other woman. However, just before she was safely out Alanna's voice caught her, "Varice?"

Unsure what she could possibly want, she turned and asked, "What is it?" In what she hoped was the most cool self-assured voice possible.

Alanna rubbed her temple with her left hand, "Take- Take the slaves with you, would you? Please – I don't care what you send them to do, just as long as it's _not_ here."

She blinked at the request before realizing it was a completely natural thing for a northerner to ask. She'd lived in Carthak all her life, though her parents had been northerners, so while she was not entirely fond of slavery, she was at least numb to it. She nodded slowly, "Certainly."

It only took a few words to the five or so that worked in the quest wing of the palace. They left and Alanna gave Varice a nod of thanks that also served as a dismissal. She left quickly, now with a train of slaves behind her. Thankfully no one questioned her. Confining – and rather frightening – as being in service to Ozrone was, it did give her certain liberties and a fair bit of privacy.

Her entire day was spent preparing the cake for the evening's banquet. Through all her turmoil of emotions and fears and anxieties, it was the one thing she could actually find joy in, some level of peace. For the hours she spent working and speaking to His Majesty's chefs and watching the confection – which looked like art to her – take shape, she felt like herself again. She pushed aside thinking about Arram, about whether or not he'd made up a reason to get her to leave, about whether or not he cared for Daine as a student or as a friend or as more, about whether or not Carthak would go to war or if the gods were or were not punishing the country. She shoved it all away and felt, for the first time in days, calm. Maybe even happy.

It was clear, as the banquet began, that she was likely the only individual who was so, and it sobered her nearly instantly when she looked upon the strained and tired faces of those surrounding her. She picked up bits of talk as people were served – the talks had reached a stalemate. The emperor hadn't even shown up that day. Something to do with fishing rights and the Prince's arranged marriage to the young Princess Kalasin of Tortall – something no one wanted to do.

The cold that spending the day in the kitchen had fended off settled back in her stomach. She tried to push it away, speaking lightly to Arram as he ate – slow as ever – but it wasn't easy. If the emperor was avoiding the peace talks, and after the anger and not-so-subtle threats from the night before… it boded disaster.

She refused to think of it, and continued to reassure Arram, who after being coaxed into telling her of His Imperial Majesty's absence, hadn't been in any mood to talk. In the back of her head Varice had a feeling her methods of trying to make him relax were foolish sounding and, well, rather annoying. She refused to think too hard on that as well.

Thankfully, she was diverted by the presentation of the cake that had taken up her entire day. The idea that it could – and did – momentarily take people's attention away from the talks of peace made her all the more proud of it. She stood to present it properly. Standing aside the cart it sat on, she took a sweeping glance at people's faces. Daine looked like she was impressed in spite of herself, as Prince Kaddar said something quietly to her, smiling with a touch of pride. Arram was smiling, nothing more than a twitch of his lips, but there.

Unfortunately, the emperor had to stand with her, too. Rules in place, she offered the ceremonial knife to him, hoping her hands didn't shake. Thankfully he waved her off with a gracious smile that didn't touch his eyes. Still, trying to steady her hands, she returned to cutting into the cake,

And then, she screamed.

_Rats_. That was the only thought she had. There had to be thousands of them, pouring out of the cake – more than a cake that size could ever hold. She felt dizzy and sick. Her vision blurred as she watched, unable to understand what was happening. How this could be happening. Her head spun and her stomach lurched as rats continued to leap from her cake. Some latched on to her dress but she was too stunned and frightened to respond other than another scream.

There were shouts and cries all around her, but loudest of all was the young Daine's "_Stop!_" She repeated the order several times before the rats indeed stopped their frantic climbing and scampering, however reluctantly. Varice's dizziness threatened to consume her, but she was able to form one hazy thought; that Daine did indeed look like a Demi-goddess. Her arms raised and her young face set in a cold, calm, and commanding expression. Varice suddenly felt small and weak. And promptly fainted.

She came to, to the disgusting smell of Wakeflower. Glancing around dizzily, she caught sight of the ruin that was her cake. The cake that was the one small bit of control and peace she'd made in her life. It was ripped apart, beyond repair. She felt tears sting her eyes, and felt even weaker for them. It hurt to look at it, but she couldn't stop.

And when her eyes tore away from it, it was to no better a view. Arram stood before his student, his hands on her shoulders, looking into her face worriedly. She was his first concern, of course. What upset her more was the calm on Daine's face, as if this was something that happened everyday to her. She was so strong, so powerful. It was no wonder Arram was so close to her, they suited one another.

Varice had never felt so useless. She knew her power was small, and she wasn't good for very much but she'd never wanted to do more. She still wasn't sure she did, but that didn't stop the tears from spilling over.

When Arram did come to check on her, there was nothing that could stop her from breaking down. He awkwardly held her, not bothering to say anything. Nothing would have helped. She felt overwhelmed and powerless and the embarrassment she felt at sobbing while a fifteen-year-old girl could control herself only made her cry more.

She eventually contained herself, sniffing awkwardly. Arram was looking at her, but she didn't want to hear whatever he was going to say. She didn't expect it would make things any better.

"Thank you," she said roughly, making a useless attempt to sound calm. "I'm going to go to my rooms now."

He didn't stop her, just gave her a small nod and squeezed her shoulder the way he would casually do to a friend. She didn't meet his eyes and ungracefully fled from the room.

It was too early for sleep, but the thought of confronting anyone, even a stranger, even a slave, was unbearable. She went to shut herself away from everything and simply tried to breathe.

She knew it was a foolish thought at this point, but she truly didn't believe anything could get worse than it was.

_And then it did._

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><p>Suddenly, <em>RATS<em>! Thousands of them!

Also, this scene was hard to write because it's hard not to see Varice as weak and silly as Tammy writes her here. 'hysterical; clinging to Numair; ect'. But again, taking this from her mind, you have to realize this is scary stuff - rats notwithstanding, still just about everything normal in this lady's life is falling apart. I'd cry, too.

_Next_ post will be Daine's 'running away' among other things.

Thank you for your patience, and do review. I love it.


	11. Lies

WHAT'S THIS? AN UPDATE! ON THIS STORY? Yes! You read correctly! I cannot tell you how sorry I am for the long hiatus. I got distracted by other things. But I re-read The Immortals just the other day and it all came flooding back. So, I hope some of you are still around and willing to put up with me. We're nearing the final chapters anyways! :)

I love you all, deeply. I hope you enjoy!

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><p>Varice couldn't sleep. She supposed no one in the entire Carthaki palace could sleep that night. Between threats of war and omens that could no longer be pushed aside, the peace talks had become everything but peaceful. Carthak <em>would<em> go to war with Tortall, she was sure of it at this point. The talks hadn't failed but neither had they succeeded, and Varice knew that for the Emperor, that was all he needed.

What would happen then, she didn't know. She'd never lived through a war. Carthak's conquests of the other southern nations were so quickly won that no one would consider it a serious battle. Whatever did happen, she knew she would have no part in, of course. Not that she wanted any part in it.

She could flee, she thought as the night turned into early morning. She could go to Tortall. It was a ridiculous idea, though. She wouldn't be any safer there, nor would it keep her any closer to Arram. He would still be at war, and she would still be powerless. He could be captured or killed in battle and she'd have no more news of it in Tortall than she would in Carthak.

With her thoughts now switching between staying or leaving Cathak and getting positively nowhere, she finally passed out from stress and exhaustion.

She awoke late the next morning, a sinking feeling in her stomach. She had a very strong feeling today was going to be no better than the day before, or the day before that. This whole peace-talk, really, had been one gigantic disaster. Varice remembered fretting about such the day the Tortallan delegation had arrived. She had shoved that aside, though, able to simply focus on Arram.

Focusing on that only made things worse now.

Sighing, she got up and dressed and debated finding Arram and, oh, she didn't know, apologizing for breaking down the previous night. It felt silly, but she needed to talk to him while she still could. She doubted they would ever see each other again, whether or not the war actually happened. Perhaps she would talk to Daine as well, something she had never bothered doing. Even if Tortall left on bad terms with Carthak, Varice did not want to leave on bad terms with these people.

Having come to that conclusion, she composed herself and set off in a brisk walk towards the delegates' wing of the palace.

And realized something was dead wrong.

Firstly, slaves were everywhere, carrying away cases Varice recognized as items belonging to the delegates. She had sent the slaves away from the Northerner's area at the Lioness's request just the other day. Secondly, slaves were all she saw. She knew no talks had been scheduled so someone _had_ to have been there. Arram, Alanna, one of the Dukes or Lords or whomever else had been a part of this.

"What's going on?" She demanded of a nearby slave, her voice cracking slightly with nerves. This wasn't good. Whether the talks were going well or not going at all they weren't supposed to- to leave. Not so suddenly.

She wasn't answered. She turned to another slave and her frustration turned to surprise when she realized many of these slaves were mutes. The mutes were normally Emperor Ozorne's personal slaves and never left his quarters, unless he had sent them to do… whatever it was they were doing. If that was the case, this was serious.

She was shaking hard now and when a hand came down on her shoulder she admittedly shrieked.

"Relax." It was the prince. His eyes were ahead, watching as slaves methodically cleared out any signs that the Tortallan's had ever been there.

"What's going on?" She asked again, quietly now. "I don't understand... Your Highness," she added belatedly.

Still, not looking at her, the young man replied in a wooden voice, "Daine has run away. My uncle believes she is urging a slave rebellion against him. The talks are over and we're going to war."

His voice and face were entirely devoid of expression as he delivered the most horrifying speech Varice had ever heard._War_. She'd been fretting over it all night but it still hurt like a physical blow to hear Kaddar confirm it. They were going to war with Tortall.

But not because of Daine.

It was surprising, really. How instantly Varice knew that Kaddar's words were a lie. Of course, he was only repeating what was the official story. But Daine would not have run away. She was a foolish child, head-strong, stubborn with no sense of diplomacy and her hatred of cages of any sort was well known. But she was loyal to Tortall, Varice had been able to see that. And if not to the country that was her home, she had shown loyalty to Arram, to the Lioness. These were people she loved and would not betray.

Varice had never been fond of the girl, but the reasons for that were petty and childish. At the heart of it, Varice knew Daine Sarrasri would not do anything to ruin their potential peace.

Ozorne, however, would.

She noticed Kaddar's hands, fisted at his sides, were shaking and knew all at once that he had the same conclusion and was fighting the urge to shout it to the world.

"Your highness…" she began hesitantly, unsure of what Kaddar would do to protect this girl. He could be as foolish as Daine, if he got upset enough. Nearly losing his temper on the boat two nights prior had shown that.

He shook his head, "I should have known- Mmy uncle wanted this war, he needs it. Of course, he would- would do something like this." He was talking more to himself, whispering, but all the same Varice knew it was too loud. Slaves were everywhere, and while they looked occupied many could and would hear Ozorne's nephew and heir's words. And even mutes could report those words back. She'd never known him to be so careless; he'd clearly spent too much time with Daine.

When he opened his mouth to continue, Varice loudly hushed him. Letting her voice carry, she said, "Your Highness, I know you were sweet on that girl-child, but you must accept what has happened." There. She didn't know if Kaddar felt that way for Daine at all, but Ozorne was more likely to wave the words aside if he knew they were spoken out of a childish infatuation and not treason.

Kaddar blushed, and she briefly wondered if she had been closer to the truth than she had intended with that save. However, he seemed to understand that it was, indeed, a save and wisely shut his mouth.

"Do you have any idea where she is, Your Highness?" She added, as quietly as she could.

Kaddar's demeanor warmed fractionally at the knowledge that Varice understood what was really happening, and was concerned for the girl. He only shook his head with such little movement she barely caught it. "I don't think she's dead," he whispered tightly, barely moving his mouth. "She fascinates him too much. She's too rare, he wouldn't want to lose her." His voice trembled slightly, seeming to struggle to reassure himself that – wherever Daine was – she was alive.

_He wants to look for her_, she thought. Understandable – they had grown rather close over the few days together. Varice remembered noting at the later banquets that they behaved as though they had known each other for many years rather than a few days._ Daine has that affect,_ Arram had once told her.

Suddenly, the sick feeling she'd had all that morning intensified. _Arram_.

"Are the delegates leaving today, Your Highness?"

Kaddar paused, and then decided this topic was entirely safe, "Yes. They have been seen to their ship, under imperial guard. They are to leave within the day."

If she had not been trembling before, she surely was now. So he had made into the ship, but that said nothing. This was the man who had faced down the emperor once when the girl had been missing for less than an _hour_. With this, with so many clear signs pointing to a kidnapping – she could not imagine him leaving her, not without tearing the palace to shreds in search of her. Had he not told her a dozen times over that Daine was important to him? Had she not seen it in his demeanor, in the way his eyes softened or smile brightened when he was with her – gods, when he even _spoke_ about her?

Varice wasn't particularly powerful when it came to Gifts. She claimed no great magical power or influential position. But she knew people. She had known Arram, and though she hadn't wanted to, she had somehow come to know Numair. And if there was one thing, one single thing, Varice knew about Numair, it was that he loved Daine. And he would give his life to save her.

And she had a horrible feeling that that was exactly what he'd do.

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><p>There now, this is all a fine mess isn't it? Poor Varice is caught up in some real dangerous things here. With how I've made her character and her reading people, I knew she wouldn't believe the 'Daine's run-off' story. Kaddar's general knowledge and distrust of his unlce made it clear he'd not believe either. And since both Kaddar and Varice are the two Daine speaks to about Numair's death I thought it'd be nice for them to kind of... bond over this whole thing.<p>

So anyways, next time we get said 'death'. Yeah, Varice is going to have a _lovely_ time with that.

Thanks for putting up with me, my dears. Please review, as well - the more I know people are still reading the sooner I'll post again! 3


	12. Execution

Glorious night for an execution scene, wouldn't you say?

Sorry for the wait on this one - though anything is better than the previous one, amirite? - but writing your favorite character's execution is hard - especially when you have no canon material to work with.

I hope this lives up to whatever expectations you have. ENJOY!

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><p>There was nothing she could do but wait, of course. Wait for the dreadful news of Arram's arrest.<p>

It was a pessimistic thought, but this was one thing Varice knew for certain. The_ only_ thing she knew for certain. Arram wasn't about to leave Daine behind, not when she could be – and was – in serious danger. When it came to his student he'd always been protective to the point of stupidity and incredibly rash decisions. Vaguely, she remembered the rumor that he'd turned their very own Tristan Staghorn into a tree just the year before and was suddenly very sure that Daine had to have been threatened when that occurred; Arram had once told her that he had absolutely no desire to use that magnitude of a spell, even if pressed. Her safety was the only thing that'd make him that irrational.

Briefly, Varice considered looking for Arram. But what good would that do if she did find him? Was she supposed to tell him to run? She'd told him before not to be so protective of Daine and he'd ignored her completely and those had been times when there truly had been no cause for concern. She was sure, even if her words had given him pause before they would not now. Nor could she attempt to give him shelter while he searched for his beloved student; she was too weak-willed for that. If Ozorne came to her, demanding she turn Arram over to him… well, perhaps she'd attempt to fight him first, deny any association, but she would give in. And that would make his death hurt so much worse.

The same would happen if she were to try and find Daine, herself. Indeed, she did contemplate that idea as well. None of this was the child's fault, after all.

Indeed, Varice was feeling entirely helpless. Nothing knew there, she thought bitterly. Her only hope was that maybe, just maybe, Arram would successfully find Daine and the pair would escape alive. It was a slim hope, but it was all she had to cling to.

It wasn't long before that was ripped from her as well. The news she had been dreading and expecting simultaneously reached her late that evening, hitting her like a physical punch to her gut. Arram had indeed been caught and was to be executed the following evening. He'd been hiding at the University, apparently. She wondered if Master Lindhall had been hiding him – an offense that could have the older man killed as well, but no word on a second arrest was given. Perhaps the Emperor simply didn't care; he had the man he'd wanted to get his hands on for nearly a decade.

Clearly, Ozorne would be celebrating this as a grand victory; all mages from the university, all nobles, everyone who lived in the palace was to witness the death. The Emperor wanted an audience to see, to see that no one could escape him, to see what happened when you crossed the Emperor Mage of Carthak.

Varice would have to _watch_ him die. She dismissed the slave who brought her the news and was promptly sick. She had seen Carthaki executions before – she'd had to; Ozorne celebrated those with some level of fanfare and that was Varice's job. But she could usually close it off, concentrate on anything but what was actually occurring. That was not going to be possible this time. She could already picture his death in her mind, and knew the reality would be a hundred times worse.

She felt queasy still but there was nothing left to throw up. She simply hugged herself tight and waited for her summons. Ozorne would want her to prepare for this as well, no doubt. The death of his archenemy would certainly require preparation.

The rest of the night went by in a blur. She was vaguely aware that she had been crying several separate times since she had first heard the news. There was no summons, for which she was grateful. She was certain Ozorne would not have forgotten that Varice had been Arram's lover – when the two men had been close there were many times the three of them would spend time together; it seemed like forever ago, now. Nor did she think he would have overlooked that she had practically latched herself on to him the past few days she'd had him again. She didn't want to know what comments he might have for her regarding her ex-lover's impending death, be it pity or mockery or some combination of the two.

It would not be the first execution Varice had opposed – in fact, there were a rare few she had actually been able to talk the Emperor out of. That depended solely on his mood and the severity of the crime, however, and this was not one Varice saw him being swayed by the young woman's soft-heartedness.

Nonetheless, she knew she would have to try.

And she did. She was a mess at the execution – unable to sleep mixed with stress and fear and anger and grief. She knew this wasn't helping her case; Ozorne liked her best when she was pretty and self-composed. That was her job, to make things pretty. Usually she enjoyed that. But how could things ever be _nice_ again?

She hadn't been asked to prepare anything resembling a feast for this. Hesitantly she had asked him why, several hours before sundown.

He smiled, which frightened her more than anything, for it looked so positively genuine and sad. "My dear, this is not a happy occasion, as well you know. Even now I wish it had not ended this way, but he left me no choice."

_Liar._ Varice's voice trembled, "Your Imperial Highness, if I may say so, there is still another choice. If you- if you were to show mercy to the man who betrayed you no – no one would think you weak. In fact, other nations may fear you more-" she trailed off, helplessly. She was crying now, unable to stop herself and already knowing his answer. She wasn't influential; she knew very little about politics and lacked the correct words to say to ever possibly change his mind. This was the plea of an infatuated child, positively useless.

Of course it hadn't worked. It was never going to but she needed to make that attempt, as if it would be one scrap of humanity she could always claim. Who she would serve it to, she didn't know; the gods perhaps, given the omens that surrounded an already ominous day.

The sunset on another cloudless Carthaki day and the mage Numair Salmalin, formerly Arram Draper was killed. Burnt, by the Emperor Mage, himself.

The last sight she had of the man was his glare of pure black hatred at Ozorne, a look Varice had never seen before. This was for all of his past here, she thought, but this is also for Daine. He was dying trying to save her, and he didn't even know if she was all right. He never would. It hurt too much to look at him, especially when she knew in a matter of seconds that expression would be twisted in agony. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"Don't," Kaddar said, not too far from her. She looked at him as he stared blankly at the scene before them both. "He'll know if you don't look." Varice didn't know how he would, but was in no position to doubt.

And so she watched, tears streaming down her cheeks, trying to block out the image or the sound of his screams. She could not; both sight and sound would be burned into her mind for as long as she lived. After a while, she could no longer breathe – it was too painful and she wished perversely that he would just die. Her vision blurred from tears and dizziness and the whole affair seemed to blur out.

When she was thinking… well, she couldn't say clearly, but simply thinking at all, the affair was over. She stared at the charred remains of a body unable to form a coherent thought or feeling. She was shaking so hard she couldn't quite walk straight, not that she knew where we was going, or what to do when she got there. Arram was dead, and in that moment it felt as though the world was truly ending.

It never occurred for her to think that things might get worse. But then again, it never had in the past. So, of course, things did.

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><p>Some notes on this one.<p>

Something no one ever seems to touch on is the idea that perhaps, once, Ozrone and Varice were on friendly terms. I don't exactly know how this all works out but Ozorne and Arram were bros. Varice was Arram's girl... surely this equals some sort of companionship between the two of them. I wanted it to be clear that Ozorne _likes_ Varice. She makes him look good, if nothing else. He plays the nice guy for her, because he wants, even needs, her to be his.

Also, I wanted Ozorne not to treat Numair's death like some grand triumph like Varice thought. Ozorne's a bit messed up in the head; in a lot of cases I think he _does_ feel betrayed. He's not lying or pretending when he calls Numair a traitor. That's just _how he sees it_.

Anyways, I hope this served as a good solid execution scene. Let me know! Next we get ZOMBIE DINOSAURS and Daine and Varice confrontation. We're nearing the final stretch, my dears. Thanks for bearing with me!


	13. Retribution

I seem to have lost some of you guys... not too many reviews. I'm sure I deserve it with the waits I give you guys. Still, if you're out there(?) I love you and thank you for bearing with me!

Have a LONG update to compensate. :)

Anyhow, I'm pretty sure this is a scene you've all been waiting for since day one of this fic. It's the one I've been waiting to write, let me tell you. Here's hoping I do it justice!

Enjoy!

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><p>That night was one of the worst in her life.<p>

She couldn't close her eyes without reliving the execution of one of her dearest friends. Silly girlish emotions put aside, she knew Arram was a good man, and one who did not deserve that death no more than he had deserved being marked a traitor some nine years ago.

She never really slept, more rather slipped in and out of a conscious state for several hours. The drums didn't help things. The sounds of an army preparing to march kept any sense of peace from reaching her. She would not be needed the next day; Ozorne would be solely occupied with preparing his vast standing army for the impending war.

The next day was spent in a similar catatonic state. While she tried to do something productive in the Palace kitchens she debated finding Kaddar and speaking to him. Of everyone in the palace he was the only other one she thought truly cared about Arram. He and Master Reed, though she hadn't seen him at the execution and wondered if he had left with the Tortallans. It was not unlike him; the man had always appeared out of place in Carthak. That was a shame, though. The prince seemed to like him better than any other University teachers, much like Arram had. In fact, Prince Kaddar reminded Varice a great deal of the Arram she had known in their younger days; he was charming, but also wise and passionate about learning and knowledge.

If the prince was at the University perhaps she could speak to him more freely as well, and that was something she needed right then. She wondered if he still wanted to search for Daine, she wondered if he was doing so as she thought.

Her thoughts were disrupted by a loud commotion outside. _What now_? She thought, unsure what could be worse. Finding a window she watched as any animal in sight attacked the nearest human. Very glad she was indoors, she watched the whole affair with mild shock. This was Daine's doing, she thought. Who else had that power? She half expected to see the girl, herself, but she was nowhere in sight.

_Perhaps she's died_. Perhaps they are reacting to her death. The thought was a surprisingly painful one. Daine deserved to die even less than Arram had.

It was all the more reason to find the prince. If Daine had died he would need someone to talk to about it – someone who knew the girl was innocent. He would also need someone to keep him from going into a rage against his uncle. In Ozorne's current state of mind, the slightest misstep could mean Kaddar's head as well and Varice desired no more deaths than she had already been witness to.

It was early evening before Varice could find time or excuse to make it to the university. She was cleaning up the palace kitchens – having sent the slaves away, needing something to do with her hands – when the crashing noises reached her. Followed by screams. There had been noise all day, between the constant pounding of military drums and the fury of wild animals reacting to their, possibly deceased, mistress. But nothing like this.

Frightened, Varice found a window once more just in time to see the source of the crashing.

At first she didn't feel anything but a sort of numb shock. _Was she dreaming?_ She simply _had_ to be dreaming. Perhaps the last three days had been a dream – that would be pleasant. But no, Arram's death had felt too real.

Still, she could see nothing else to explain the skeletons of creatures she knew to exist in Carthak's Hall of Bones wandering free. No, not _wandering_. This was no aimless meandering. Not when they were purposely breaking walls all around her. This was an army, systematically destroying all in their path.

And then she screamed.

There were no people that she could see – no doubt all had run – but she could not keep herself from fearing what one of these long-dead soldiers could or would do to any mortal they passed. She had seen how large they were, how, though only bone, their tails, feet, and heads could crush stone – what could they do to her?

Now thoroughly panicked, Varice looked around where she was and blanched. She was surrounded by food. In her frightened state she didn't really care to think that dinosaur skeletons probably would not be hungry or whether or not they could smell. Either way, the way she had seen them, they were destroying _everything_. They would reach her eventually.

The storerooms were no safer than where she currently was. In fact, they were probably more dangerous. She didn't care. They were closed in, dark, and crowded. She had a better chance of at least hiding from these creatures if she were in there. She ran out of the kitchens and nearly into one of the skeletons. She screamed. It looked at her and did nothing for that moment. Seizing it, she sprinted past it in search of the store rooms. Behind her she heard it continue into the kitchens.

Thankfully, the storerooms were not far and she ran into no more dinosaurs, though she could hear the sound of crushing stone and other shrieks all around her – now muffled in the safety of the cool room. She moved behind several barrels and put her head on her knees, trembling all over.

An explanation finally came to her, as she bit down panic and fear. _Gods_. This was not an omen, oh no. This was the culmination of every omen the gods had ever sent Carthak and Ozorne. This, this was Divine Retribution – as if Arram's execution had been the final straw to set off this cataclysm. The gods were going to rip apart this palace, this empire. What happened to the people, she shuddered to think.

She didn't know how long she was there, trembling fitfully and praying to every god that she survived this night before the constant sound of crumbing stone grew nearer and she realized they would be in her storeroom in a matter of seconds. Frantic she decided to attempt to use her Gift. To do what, she didn't know, but she needed to do something.

She was not prepared for a giant, furred, trunk to wrap around her waist and lift her off her feet. Shrieking in terror, any thought of spells left her mind and the fires of her gift died away. To her surprise, the mammoth set her down gently in front of it, and she looked up, shaking.

To see Daine sitting atop the creature.

For a brief hysterical instant, Varice was amused. _Of course_. _Of course_ Daine would be leading an army of undead dinosaurs, delivering the gods' message to Carthak. Then she really looked at the girl, and the fear won over once more. Daine looked utterly wild; her curls were wild and her clothing torn. Her face was set in a mask of frozen calm but, even from the distance, Varice could see the look in her eyes, the madness and fury in them. They glared down at her.

"Tell me why I shouldn't have you ripped to pieces." The girl hissed. Varice blinked, not sure how to respond or even if Daine wanted her to. "Were you at his killing? Were you serving pretty food and fancy wine?"

In spite of everything that was happening, she felt a touch indignant. She knew Daine did not like her, nor had she particularly liked Daine – but that was hardly fair. She managed to shake her head, fear still gripping her tongue. In any other circumstance, she would not believe Daine would actually harm her. But this Daine seemed entirely separate from the Daine she'd known from the delegation, as though something in her had broken.

"Did you betray him to the emperor?"

That hurt, too. Enough that she was able to form the words, "I don't expect you to believe me, but no. Maybe I would have, if he'd come to me," she added. Might as well be honest. "You don't know what it's like, being in service to a man like Ozorne. But I didn't betray Arram."

She waited for her next accusation, but it didn't come. Instead Daine cocked her head slightly, seeming to study her, looking not unlike an animal studying a human oddly.

Meeting her eyes, she spoke in as steady a voice as she could manage, feeling the absurd urge to explain herself to this girl Arram had died for. "You must think I'm useless and silly. Maybe I am. I just like things pretty. Is that so bad, to want people to enjoy themselves?" This sounded so much like the litany she had given Arram so many times that it hurt. Her voice cracked. "Only when you have the gift you can't just go to parties and keep house. They expect you to study and _do_ something in life. Arram – he always wanted me to learn more spells and be famous. I don't want to be famous! What I do is useful. And I _like_ using my gift for cooking and baking. Great power hasn't brought the mages I know happiness of peace of mind."

She felt even sillier now, for spilling this all out on a half-mad demi-goddess. But some of the madness seemed to leave her eyes, as though, somehow, this wild girl understood her. "You don't have to explain yourself to me."

The sudden quiet and unsure quality of her voice made her sound entirely different from the Daine who had wanted to 'tear her apart'. She sounded her age now, young, and in pain. Recalling her first two questions, it _finally_ reached Varice's fear gripped mind what this, all of this, was about.

This wasn't the gods – not truly. Perhaps they played a part as well, but, no. This was Daine. This was revenge. The fifteen-year-old wildmage had rose countless dinosaur skeletons to avenge the death of her beloved teacher. That madness, that brokenness about her – this was her grief.

Varice grieved for Arram, of course she did. He had been a good man. Dear to her heart, and undeserving of his fate. Her friend. Her lover.

He had been Daine's everything.

She remembered him telling her that the girl had no family left. He had fell into the place in her life, given her some sense of stability and love. She could take care of herself physically, hold her own in a fight and survival and whatnot. She did not need his protecting. But she had needed _him_, for much deeper reasons. And she had lost him. And it killed something in her.

Needing to say something to her now, Varice added in a quivering voice, "I begged. Sometimes it works. I said, what's the point of killing Arram? Other monarchs would fear Carthak more, if he showed mercy to his betrayer. But it didn't help. He made me watch when they – " Her voice broke, She couldn't say it. "I'll never forget that as long as I live."

Daine watched her, her expression still frozen and disturbingly peaceful apart from her eyes, yet she felt that the girl had understood her. Understood that, at this point, the two of them were on the same side. Varice loved Arram, Daine loved Numair, he had died and both were in pain.

"Varice," Daine said, still sounding calm and self-composed and entirely hollow. "We have no quarrel with you. The gods are unhappy with Ozorne, and I'm helping them, but you don't have to be involved. Get out of here. Shelter at the University, if you can get across the river, or the estates outside the palace grounds. You won't be safe here."

Varice nodded, acknowledging that this was the grief-torn, and revenge-mad teenager's way of showing kindness and understanding. She gathered her skirts, and ran from the room, wondering all the while how likely it was that she should ever see Daine again, just how far this girl would take her revenge, and how a furious demi-goddess would fare if she wished to kill the Emperor Mage of Carthak.

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><p>Well, now. That was... something now wasn't it.<p>

Poor, poor Varice. Her love was murdered before her eyes, her country is going to war and it's all topped off with Zombie Dinosaurs.

And then she and Daine have their little chat where Varice kinda gets to kinda understand that Daine just might have it worse than she does. And they are on the same side here, the man they both loved (be Daine's love platonic or not at this point) is dead. Both are hurting. Daine's reaction is just a little more... well, mad. But so is she, sooo...

Anyways, I hope you all liked it. There is still more, I promise. Reviews really do help though.


	14. Appeasement

Hold on tight dearies, we're venturing into non-canon territory. It could get bumpy.

Enjoy!

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><p>It was with great relief that Varice reached the University across the river Zekoi.<p>

She had run into at least four more dinosaur skeletons carrying out the gods – and their mistress' desire to destroy the Carthaki palace. None made any move to harm her, though she ran past them as quickly as her legs could take them. Knowing that they were Daine's soldiers calmed her only somewhat. Perhaps the mage-girl could call them off, but she was not there – best not take any chances.

The University was in chaos of a different kind.

She was not the only one taking refuge. Quite the opposite, the grounds were packed, slaves and nobles – and a large number of both wild and domestic animals – all gathered discussing the events or watching them unfold across the river. Looking across herself, Varice could see smoke… somewhere, though no fire was visible. The sound of crumbling rock was still audible like muted, distant thunder.

Everyone was in a state of barely controlled panic. Babies cried, women cried, men cried. Many cursed, even more prayed. No one knew that the cause of all this was only divine justice in part, and that a larger part was a girl in wild untamed grief, getting her own justice against the man who had murdered her beloved teacher, and she wasn't about to explain that to anymore. She wasn't entirely sure she could. And, even in the state of events unfolding, she wasn't sure anyone would believe her.

"Lady Varice?"

She turned toward her name. It was the prince, looking disheveled and a little frightened, himself. Varice was relieved to see him okay. Daine was angry with his uncle, not him, but she wasn't certain her soldiers would make the distinction. "Your Highness," she said, trying to sound calm. Nothing about her was calm, nothing about this entire _situation_ was calm, but it was beginning to feel so positively surreal that wasn't too hard for her to distance her mind from it. It would be sometime before her mind fully made sense of what was truly happening here.

He sighed, "I'm glad you're alright. Daine told me to get everyone I knew out of the palace before- but I couldn't find you and I wasn't sure-" he trailed off.

In spite of all the chaos within her, she managed to feel very flattered by Prince Kaddar's concern. He'd always been kinder than Ozorne, and wiser, and she'd been as friendly as she possibly could to him in her years working for his uncle but she'd never thought herself that important to him.

Eventually her brain caught up with his words, "You spoke with Daine, Your Highness?"

Kaddar looked uncomfortable, "My uncle had been keeping her in one of the cells beneath the palace. Some of the Banjiku and their animals helped her escape and got me. I tried- I wanted her to leave while she could but she'd been drugged with Dreamrose and she knew from her dreams that Master Numair had stayed behind for her…" he cleared his throat, "she wanted to search for him and I- I had to tell her… what happened."

Varice tried vainly not to think about what _had happened _to Arram; the last thing she needed to do right then was start crying again. Focusing, Kaddar's words filled in what gaps Varice had in what was going on around them. Poor Kaddar. She did not want to know what Daine's initial reaction to that particular news had been. "That explains a lot," she muttered aloud.

The prince's eyes narrowed, "Have you seen her?"

_Oh yes, we had a lovely little chat just now._ "Briefly, Your Highness. She sent me here. She is… unhurt." She added, knowing Kaddar was likely concerned given the state of his palace right now. However, calling Daine _well_ or _healthy_ at this stage was probably a lie. Some of Daine's madness had left her throughout their brief conversation but not enough to make much of a difference or change what plans she had or what plans she was carrying out. She had set out to destroy the Carthaki palace and so it would be.

It would not bring her Numair back, no amount of destruction would. Nothing would. Varice, who mourned in much different ways, had no idea what might finally appease the girl's grieving heart and the wildness that was her own way of dealing with it – if anything would.

She thought, not for the first time, whether she would hunt down Ozorne. It wasn't unlikely. She had said it was he who the gods were unhappy with, not Carthak. And it was he who had murdered her teacher and friend. Earlier, Daine had been willing to rip her apart for possibly turning Arram in. It was more than possibility that Daine would be out for more specific revenge, it was an inevitability.

She watched Kaddar carefully, wondering if he knew that his friend would be out for his uncle's blood and what his reaction maybe. There was no affection between nephew and uncle as far as Varice had ever seen and the recent caving of the Emperor's, well, sanity, likely destroyed any bond the two might have had. Nonetheless, she waited for his reaction, as he lost himself in thought, staring past her at the palace that was becoming a ruin.

"I need to find Master Lindhall," he said, more to himself.

Varice wasn't sure what the gentle teaching master could do in light of all that was happening. And more than that, "I thought he went north, with the Tortallans, Your Highness?"

He shook his head, "No, I saw him, in the crowd, earlier. I couldn't get a word in, though." No doubt the prince had been cornered numerous times and attacked with questions. Unfortunately Varice doubted he had anything reassuring to say. "She'll- She trusts him, more than she likely does me, especially at the moment. She would listen to him."

"You want her to stop?"

"It is my uncle she is angry with, and even if she dealt with him I'm not sure that would be enough. I've never seen her this way." He sounded both frightened_ of_ her and _for_ her. Varice did not know Daine particularly well and had been able to tell how broken she had become. She could not imagine how terrifying it might be for someone who considered her a friend. "I can't say anything that would give her pause, but perhaps Lindhall could. I need to try, at least. I cannot stand by and watch this."

Showing concern both for the individual and the larger picture – yes, Kaddar would make a _much_ better ruler than his uncle, Varice thought. There was a good chance he would be one before the night was over. She still failed to see how talking to the girl would accomplish anything – especially if, her own reasons notwithstanding, she was carrying out the gods' orders. She didn't say so, though. She doubted it would help any, anyways.

He focused on Varice again, as if remembering who he was talking to, or that he was even talking to anyone other than himself. "Would you like to come with me?" He added. The offer was polite, understanding that Varice had been affected very much by the events of the last few days. Not so much as he or Daine or even Master Lindhall, but more than many others. At the same time, Varice knew very well that she could do nothing and would only be in the way in whatever he and Master Lindhall may have planned, successful or not. She wasn't sure her presence would do anything to help Daine, either.

"Thank you, Your Highness, but I would prefer to stay here."

He looked relieved, she thought. As well he ought, she supposed. "As you wish."

"Good luck," she added.

He nodded, thanking her silently. And then plunged back into the crowd of people in search of a way to stay Daine's – and the gods' – hand from further destruction. Varice remained to wait out the rest of this night, and sent a small prayer after him, that, if not Master Lindhall, Kaddar found_ someone_ who could help.

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><p>So we get some Varice Kaddar conversations because I enjoy them. I don't know why but I imagine he likes her, in a general sense. And they're both in the similar boat of being totally and completely lost and helpless at the moment. I wanted them to have a bit of interaction before we end the action and move to even less canon material. lol<p>

Also, Varice's prayers came true, canonically. Because this would be where Kaddar meets up with Lindhall and a surprisingly ALIVE Numair. And we all know what happens after that.

Anyways, next chapter we get the end of this insane night and Varice learning that Numair lives. And how she takes _that. _That may be the end, my dears, or I may do an epilogue. Not sure yet.

As usual thank you for putting up with me and please, please review. :)


	15. Resurrection

This scene is going to go a little different than I think you all may be expecting, but this is how I realistically see this going down. I hope you enjoy it all the same.

It's also hella long! Always good! :D

We get more Varice/Kaddar Conversations, too! They're my favorite.

Canon? Where we're going we don't need canon. Enjoy!

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><p>Varice was rather proud of how calm she was behaving. Her thoughts were in turmoil and if she tried to sort them out right then she thought she might have some sort of psychological breakdown. So she wasn't thinking too hard, about wars, gods, Daine, Ozorne or Arram. About anything.<p>

She couldn't watch the distant destruction without those thoughts arising, so she put all her effort into calming as many Carthaki citizens as she could. For all that she had little to know say in political affairs, nor any real power, people seemed to trust her, thankfully.

It was useless, trying to explain to these people the actual situation, but she got as close as she could. The gods were delivering the consequences of the Emperor's past actions and failure to acknowledge them. The destruction was limited to the palace and the army, however, and they were safe where they were. She didn't explain that she knew this because a wild girl and her skeleton army had told her so. No one asked, thankfully. Confirmation that they were safe was all that they had needed at the time.

She ran out of people to reassure and her mind inevitably turned to fretting. What on earth could Kaddar and Master Lindhall do to get Daine to stop. The girl liked both men, fair enough, but Varice strongly believed she was not going to listen to anyone. Not at least until Ozorne was dead. Truthfully, Varice felt almost nothing in regards to Ozorne's probable death. Unlike Arram, she had watched Ozorne lose all remnant of the man she had known in their university days, and unlike Arram, those changes had been much to the worse. The Ozorne she'd been friends with had died a very long time ago.

However, Varice had long since come to realize that Daine was a good girl. She was stubborn and irrational and altogether wild even on her better days. She was the most important person in Arram- in Numair's life. But Varice knew that she was a good girl, loyal, and strong willed, and, for the most part, innocent. What murder, even justified, would do to her, especially in her mad state, Varice did not want to know.

As she thought, she watched incoming refugees. More people had been making it across the river after her. She wondered if they had run on their own or had been told to flee by Daine, herself. Certainly by the frightened expressions, they had all seen her undead army.

One young imperial guard was trembling fitfully, having just crossed over to the university. His eyes were still on the palace, and he seemed to be muttering to himself.

"Sir?" Varice asked, kindly, hoping to calm him down. He was making her nervous; everyone else was scared but he seemed much different. "It's alright. You're safe here."

He nodded; that wasn't what concerned him. "I- I saw-"

Daine? The dinosaurs that she commanded? She kept her voice as gentle as she could, "You saw what?" Perhaps she should have been trying to get the frightened man's mind off of what haunted him, but she couldn't help her curiosity. No one had behaved this way yet.

He looked at her, "T-the mage. Numair Salmalin. Th-the one that was executed- ju- just yesterday."

Varice stared at him, unable to process what she had just been told.

"_What?_"

Her voice was sharper than she intended; the boy flinched. "Honest, my lady. I was trying to get out and he was just- he was there. And I know he wasn't a ghost because he was with the prince and one of the university mages. He-" he trailed off, clearly unable to further explain the unexplainable.

Arram? Alive? No, _no_ Varice had seen him die. She had. So had Kaddar. So had everyone. How could he be… _No_. The guard had been seeing things, had seen some sort of simulacrum – for what end it would have been made, she did not know, but it couldn't be him. She was only just beginning to accept the man's death, he couldn't just- _no_.

She was interrupted from these disturbing, _impossible_ thoughts by a noise, loud and all encompassing. It wasn't unlike the distant noise of crumbling stone, only considerably louder. It took her some time before she realized it was thunder._ Thunder_. Varice had not heard thunder in nearly a decade, not since before Arram left. Before she could wonder whether she had actually heard it or if she had, in fact, lost her mind, it came again and the sky opened.

She was drenched in a second, letting out a mix between a gasp and a cry as she stared at the sky, afraid the rain would stop as quickly as it had begun. If she thought back far enough, she'd remember that she had never really liked rain, but at the moment, she loved it more than anything simply for what it meant. People around her cried out similar statements, children looked up, mystified, too young to remember the last rain – if they had even been alive for it.

The message was clear enough; the gods had been appeased. What that meant for Ozorne, the dinosaur army, or for Daine, herself, Varice had no idea.

The crowds were in chaos once again, and Varice's chances of getting back across the river seemed slim. She wanted to find Kaddar, or even Daine, and find out just what had happened. She had a feeling whatever it was she wouldn't believe it, but she needed to know. Too much had happened for her to be content in the dark, she needed to get some questions answered.

Arram being the most important one. If, _if_ the guard was right and he had somehow miraculously survived his own execution that would explain Daine's ending the destruction. Or perhaps Master Lindhall had created a simulacrum to appease the girl, but no. Neither he nor Kaddar would lie to her that way just to get her to stop. But how could he have possibly survived? She had seen…

Her own thoughts caught up with her all at once. _Simulacra_.

She knew little of magic, and absolutely nothing about Arram's level of magic. She'd never been able to create simulacra so she didn't quite understand how they worked. As far as she knew, if one touched it, or tried to harm it, it would fade, or fall apart. Not behave as a body would, until it's death. Not burn, like a human body would burn.

But Numair was a stronger mage than Arram had been, and Arram had already been better than she could have ever comprehended. If anyone could have done it, it was him.

Varice had been deluding herself about a lot of things in regards to her one-time lover since his reappearance in her life but this certainly took the cake.

She didn't really need further confirmation after that, but she received it anyways. Several hours later – hours Varice spent in a somewhat catatonic state, trying to figure out what on earth had happened, and trying with all her might not to hope that said lover had, perhaps, lived – Kaddar made it across the river once again.

He formally addressed the crowds gathered, and the story he told shocked even her, who had been present for most of it. Ozorne had lost divine favor and with that lost his claim to the throne. Kaddar, his heir, now took his place as Emperor of Carthak. There would be a coronation, of course, but there were more pressing matters, which he also addressed.

"The Tortallan's have been contacted and will return in order to sign a peace treaty with our Realm. We turn our army and our mages toward rebuilding the palace and regaining favor with the gods, not making war with our neighbors," he announced, seriously, sounding like an Emperor already. A much wiser, gentler one. "In the meantime, the mages Veralidaine Sarrasri and Numair Salmalin are under my protection, and will be returning to Tortall with the rest of their countrymen after the treaty has been signed."

He made a few closing comments, eloquently urging his subjects to stay strong and telling them that things would get better. Carthak would be healthy once more.

Varice barely heard him. Numair had survived. She still had a million questions, but that was no longer something she could doubt. He was alive.

_He'd lied to her._

The thought was instantly banished. Of course he had lied; she had accepted long ago that he wouldn't be able to completely trust her while he was there. There was much he wouldn't have told her, and it made perfect sense. He hadn't told anyone, either. Varice couldn't pretend this was some private injury done to her and her alone. Kaddar hadn't known, never mind how calmly he behaved now; she had seen him at the execution. There was no doubt that he hadn't known.

He had not told his Daine, either. No. Varice was not the only person who had suffered from the mage's false death, nor had she suffered the worst. She was hurt, but she could not truly hate him in a situation such as this.

She found Kaddar – Emperor Kaddar – speaking to several nobles who all seemed frantic, and somewhat angry. He waved them off at last, and she tried to think of something to say.

"Are you alright, Your Highness- that is Your Imperial Maj-"

"Your Highness will do," he said, impatiently. "I've been called the full title only a handful of times and I am already tired of it."

"As you wish, Your Highness." She waited for him to answer her question.

He nodded, slowly looking at his citizens. "I'm… as well as I can be after tonight. I'm worried, but I am also very relieved." He gestured to the rain, still gently falling around them. Glancing at where the nobles had left, he sighed, "They want me to arrest her."

"Daine?"

"It would be justified. I'll have to go back and find out how much we've lost through her army, but I have a feeling I won't like it… but she was only doing the gods will. I cannot, will not, punish her for that."

She paused then asked it, "What about Numair?"

He chuckled, "I think everyone is too terrified of Master Numair's miraculous resurrection to try harming him again. Not to mention what Daine would do to anyone who did try." He looked at Varice for a moment before adding, "He's well, my lady. They both are. Well, she's asleep, but from what I saw of her before, she's well."

"Does she know he's alive?" Varice asked before she could stop herself.

The young Emperor nodded, "They reunited just after my uncle, er, abdicated."

Varice wondered how that had gone. She knew Daine had a temper, but she had also seen how Numair's death had destroyed her. And she knew how desperate Numair had been to see her safe. It was ridiculous – after everything, Varice _still_ felt hurt that they shared something she did not have.

Kaddar put a hand on her shoulder, seeming to understand her expression. Well, if he did have his own feelings for Daine perhaps he did understand. Either way, her feelings toward the mage were all but common knowledge.

A thought occurred to her. A ridiculous, stupid thought, but one she might as well act on. "Where are they staying, Your Highness?"

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><p>Yes, I ended there!<p>

Numair lives! Also Varice is thinking of him as Numair now, if you didn't catch that. I'm cheesy and wanting this to be kind of... her accepting that Numair is Numair now. Doesn't stop her from being jealous, if just a little.

I didn't want her angry with him. Hurt, yes. But not angry. Again, Numair told no one of this, expect Lindhall and only because he had to have things prepared on his end. Maybe he meant to tell Daine, but Varice doesn't know that. He didn't tell the girl that Varice knows he loves. She can't feel too left out there.

Also, _rain_, man. Can you imagine how the average person in this country must feel after what was it, a 9 year drought? It was a long time, in any case.

Next time is Numair/Varice conversation and some closure. Next time is also most likely the last time, I'm sad to say. It's been an adventure, my dears. I'll miss this story a great deal. It was a joy.

As usual thank you for putting up with me and please, please review. :)


	16. Closure

Well, my doves, we've reached the final chapter. A lot of closure between our lovely lady and her ex-lover. Lots of awkward. Lots of fun to write.

We also have her fully realizing and understanding what we _all_ know.

Thanks for joining me on this ride. Y'all are beautiful people.

ENJOY!

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><p>It wasn't for several days, however, that Varice finally acted upon her ridiculous thoughts.<p>

Honestly, she was too afraid to go. What on_ earth_ was she thinking? What could she _possibly_ have to say to any of the delegation, Numair in particular? Anything, any sort of consolation for how ridiculously horrific the last two or so weeks had been would sound silly. Even thinking of what she could say sounded silly. Even if it was something that needed to be said, it did not need to be said by her. Nothing needed to be said by her, honestly.

And if she were truly honest, some of her delay was do to a hope that perhaps, perhaps, Numair might come to speak to her. He did not. Which, of course, made perfect sense. How do you tell someone you faked your death and expect it to end well? She wasn't his Daine, she did not know him that well. He couldn't expect her to understand what he had done and be okay with it. In many cases it made Varice feel a bit better to know that he might be scared, too. Arram had never been afraid of much, but he hadn't been that man for a very long time.

But that did not make her want to see him anymore. What had happened between them while he was here had been stupid, stupid and frankly, rather immature. Part of her still loved Arram, still loved him very much, but she had known from the very start that he was not going to be hers again, that he would leave and that he had a life to go back to. But with all the stress and all the fear and the madness that had surrounded he and the delegations trip she'd allowed her emotions to get the best of her – as they often did. Never had it been quite this bad.

Varice supposed what she really wanted was a clean, complete break. When Arram had left her the first time, he had been running for his life with a price on his head. She had had no idea where he had gone, and, indeed if he had even lived for a very long time. She never expected contact, but there had always been some hope that he would return – a hope that had subconsciously kept her from marrying. A hope that had kept her from moving forward.

And then he had returned and she'd fell back into the young eighteen year old she had been when he had left. Everything had changed and she'd behaved as though nothing had. Now he was leaving again, and she refused to let that start the whole cycle over again. If she spoke to him, perhaps to the delegation as a whole, she could accept that he was leaving for good.

But she could not bring herself to go.

In the end, Varice realized it was the day before their departure and for all the gods sakes if she was going to do this she had better just go ahead and do it. She would likely be miserable in either case, might as well feel productive about it.

By this time, however, the address of the delegation had changed, which Varice had to learn the hard way. Prince- Emperor Kaddar had given her the address of his mother, told her they were keeping the sleeping demigoddess and her teacher there.

The princess was visibly uncomfortable when Varice came to call. "They are at the university. It's paranoia, I admit, but I could not sleep comfortably knowing that that girl tore down the Imperial Palace within a night."

Varice refrained from remarking that the girl in question only did that when the former Emperor had had her teacher and love murdered, and was likely too exhausted to raise anything at the moment, including herself, let alone tear anything down. She knew that if she were in the princess's place, she would be just as nervous. Daine had never liked her much, after all.

"Thank you, Your Majesty," she replied, politely before hastily exiting.

She nearly turned back three separate times on the way to the Univeristy quarters where the Tortallans were staying before they set off for their home. She didn't want to do this. She needed to do this. She didn't need to do anything. She had no place in any of their lives.

In the end, she did make it to the guest quarters. Alanna the Lioness raised her eyebrows nearly to her hairline when she greeted her, but made no comment to her immense relief. She only pointed to an exit to an open garden. Varice nodded, and tried to think of a polite way to intrude.

Her thoughts were interrupted by two laughs; a girl's and a man's – Daine and Numair, no doubt, though she had never heard the girl laugh before. She reached the doorway and was able to view the scene without being seen by the pair outside.

The pair sat on a garden bench, talking to each other quietly, watching three creatures playing – mortal, immortal and… _dead_. Numair had his arm loosely around the girl's shoulder and she had her head resting against his shoulder as she watched the creatures. Briefly, Daine looked up at her teacher and grinned at something he said. He gave her a warm smile in response, and took his hand off her shoulder to brush some of her curls behind her ear.

The whole picture was more telling in how _little_ had changed, how_ un-shocking_ it was for Varice to see them behave as such. It was not the first time she had seen them so comfortable with one another. The change that their respective near-death experiences had brought about in them was so subtle it could be easily missed. They knew each other, through and through, and they loved each other. Nothing they could have done would have made it any plainer than it was in that moment.

More than ever, Varice knew she had nothing to say, here. No part in this. She turned to go.

And nearly ran into the new Emperor, being escorted out to interrupt the garden scene by the Lioness. Alanna rolled her eyes at seeing Varice still standing frozen there, and brought Kaddar out to speak to Daine. From her place, Varice could see Numair instantly frown and nearly rolled her eyes herself. Well, at least she wasn't the only one with a jealous streak.

"Here, laddybuck," the redhead told Numair, grinning, "you come with me."

The mage sighed, but allowed her to lead him inside. It all happened so quickly Varice didn't have time to debate escaping, let alone do so.

Numair's eyes widened at seeing her and Alanna retreated before he could say anything to her.

Embarrassed, she looked down, trying to think of something to say to him. "Are you alright?" she managed at last.

"I am," he answered, sounding equally uncomfortable. "And yourself?"

Well, I wasn't the one who was executed. She bit her lip. "Fine," she said shortly - more so than she had intended. To soften it she continued, managing to look away from the floor at last. "I thought I ought to come and say goodbye…"

He blinked, and looked relieved. Varice suddenly realized he had expected her to be angry with him. Somewhere she was, but that wasn't important. After a pause he came to an apparent decision and spoke, "You're welcome to come with us, if you want." At the shock on her face he pushed on, "I meant what I said before; you'd like Tortall."

Truthfully, she didn't even think about her reply, "And I meant what I said, Numair. I'm happy here." She belonged in Carthak, in a way he never truly had. Briefly she thought of Daine's reaction if she were to board the ship to Tortall and nearly laughed aloud. "Besides," she continued, lighter, "you seem to be taking much of Carthak's staff; Emperor Kaddar will need _some_ familiarity."

Numair looked relieved again, unsurprisingly. Varice knew he had been asking her out of some misplaced sense of pity and had been hoping – if not _counting on_ – her refusal. Still, it was likely his way of apologizing for all that had transpired between them. He'd never been good at that. He smiled. "I don't think he'll ever forgive me for taking Lindhall," he admitted with a sigh. He glanced behind him at the garden where girl and emperor conversed.

Following the shift in topic, Varice asked, "How is she doing?"

"She's ready to go home," he answered promptly, still watching the teenagers. "We all are, honestly, but she's had it the hardest."

His voice had warmed considerably, as it always did when Daine was the topic. Varice shook her head. She wondered if he knew. Somehow she doubted it. For all his skills with magic Numair appeared to be as terrible with people skills as Arram had been, if not worse. It would be some time before the mage figured out his feelings for his student were more than that. It hurt her to think of him in love with someone else, and she wasn't sure if it hurt less or more for her to know that it was with a fifteen year old girl-child, who also so happened to be a demigoddess and his student. However, she had seen how happy Daine made him and vice-versa. And she had to content herself with that.

Numair turned to her at last and she realized she had sighed aloud. "Being protective, again," she told him, trying for lightness. Whether he believed it or not, he went with it. His smile grew a bit more genuine.

"Yes, yes. She's going to scold me for that eventually and I can't say I'm looking forward to it."

"I don't suppose it would be enough for you to stop?"

He actually laughed. "Certainly not."

She smiled, feeling a little better. This whole conversation had turned out far more pleasant than she had feared. For the first time in a very long time she had been pleasantly surprised.

Which is why she figured she'd better go. She wanted to leave on a good note, and this was the best she'd get, no doubt. "Well, I'll leave you to it, then," she teased, gesturing toward the pair. "I'm just, I'm glad you're alright, Arram." The name slipped before she could think.

Numair smiled. "Thank you. It was... good seeing you."

She didn't quite know what to make of that, but she wasn't going to ask. "Well, have- have a safe ride home." She smiled at the Tortallan mage that had been her lover a lifetime ago, swallowed past the lump in her throat and fled as gracefully as she could.

And for once, when Varice schooled herself into thinking about anything, anything but the man who was leaving, she found that there was nothing cataclysmic to turn her thoughts to. Carthak had a lot of rebuilding, but it was going to rebuild better. Varice was no good with politics, with magic, with anything in relation to power, but she was willing to help if she were needed. Small jobs and small comforts were her skill and she had a feeling that would be desired more than one would think in this time in Carthak's history. Varice let her mind be caught be caught up in these thoughts, in the pleasurable idea that she could and would be _needed._

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><p>And that's that. Not sure if I really liked how their conversation went down. I kept wanting them to talk about their affair while he was there but it wouldn't come out right. Too much had happened for that to be something they'd discuss. Not to mention both are embarrassed about it and Numair has horrible people skills.<p>

Again I based a lot of Varice's behavior in this chapter on my own if I were in such a situation. I stated early in this story Varice was like a manifestation of some of my least favorite qualities. Got to play around with that again here.

And she knows that Numair and Daine are in love. They don't know it, but she certainly does. And she's working on accepting that, good for her.

And that's where we're leaving it. Thank you all again for bearing with me and sticking through this to the end. I hope you all enjoyed and let me know you're thoughts!


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